im sorry life brought you to this point. would you mind if i asked why?
I'll try to be short because I don't wanna hijack your thread. I'm 35, and I've been thinking about offing myself for at least 20 years. My dad, his brother, their father, and *his* father all CTB. I guess its genetic. I just have always felt like an alone alien here on this planet, nobody understands me at all and I don't understand them..I don't even understand myself lol. I've tried and failed several times to CTB. Well now, because of some legal trouble due to me self medicating with alcohol, I'm facing a long prison sentence (multiple DUI offenses, thank god I never hurt anybody though.) I could never survive prison, if I don't kms before I go, I'll just have to do it there in a more painful and unreliable way. I'm not into the idea of getting raped for 10 years, and I'm a small guy, there's not much I could do. So its the perfect time to go, before I have to go to court to answer for these charges. My family will be able to understand this as a reason I'd CTB. I made the decision for sure a week ago, and everything has come together and felt right since I did. I'm as at peace with it as a person in my position could possibly be.
...there, you see? I hijacked your thread anyway
Hopefully we can talk more and be friends before I go, I plan to spend my remaining time with people here who understand me, and just being around people I love who love me back. I just hope, in my letters I leave, I'll be able to make them understand I didn't leave because I didn't care. I left because I couldn't *stop* caring.