Venting I’m Sorry I Can’t Take It Anymore

[BadTypePokemon]

I'm a new member, although I've been on this forum for years.
I just can't take it anymore, the silence, I can't take it. I never get to talk to anybody about anything which I can't complain about, because I've pushed everybody in my life away.

I absolutely hate being alone. I spend almost all of my time alone. It seems like I do everything by myself. It seems like going to bed and waking up every morning gets harder and harder every week. I hate being alone, but at the same time I hate being around other people because I can't stop the anxiety. I don't know why, I'm just so afraid of embarrassing myself all the time. I feel like my life is just a collection of embarrassing memories. It's like I choose to be alone because it's more safe that way, it's more predictable and there's no room to disappoint anybody but myself; but at the same time I'm just like any other human who longs for companionship to eliminate the loneliness.

This is my first post. I'm sorry if this is redundant, if this is something that somebody has vented about before. I just can't take it, I have to vocalize at least a little bit before I punch another hole in my wall. I'm so sorry guys.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand it is hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I know loneliness can be painful for many people. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Round Two]

Damn, that truly sucks. I deal with massive anxiety too, so I definitely feel for you. It's so paradoxical sometimes.

 

[SanguineHare]

If it helps Pokemon I will talk to you if you like?
I'm grown pretty familiar with the feeling of being lonely myself.

 

[whywere]

HI! I am alone also, no family nor friends, except all the fine folks here on SS, and I know where you are coming from. After finding SS, I have found not only a home, but a huge international family and my hope is that I and others can help you also.

Life is neither a bowl of cherries nor a bowl of cherry pits, but something in between and that is where SS comes into play and hopefully helps a person out.

Sending you lots of hugs, and beautiful bright blue sunny skies and a warm breeze flowing over you as we all need sunshine in our lives.

Walter

 

[blueclover_.]

HI! I am alone also, no family nor friends, except all the fine folks here on SS, and I know where you are coming from. After finding SS, I have found not only a home, but a huge international family and my hope is that I and others can help you also.

Life is neither a bowl of cherries nor a bowl of cherry pits, but something in between and that is where SS comes into play and hopefully helps a person out.

Sending you lots of hugs, and beautiful bright blue sunny skies and a warm breeze flowing over you as we all need sunshine in our lives.

Walter

Today is so strange, i kept hearing about the word 'home' many times. Just minutes ago i wanted to write something under your post mentioning SS as the only place i could call 'home', only to delete it and make it short at the end because of the words limit. Earlier this day my parents argued over whose name this house rightfully belongs to as it drove me to the edge of suicidality. I hope this isn't some weird sign or magic stuff like that, cause it's genuinely giving me the creeps.

Best wishes to you, OP. Just so you know that being lonely is sometimes the better option than being surrounded by fake friends who only come to you for their own benefits. I've had the highs and lows of the social game, it's not much better among the popular kids. Everyone, and i mean every single one of those party animals is fake. They have their own lives, their own battles, but they also take it on other innocent people. I'm done with humans, at least for now, this world will find its way to make you suffer no matter your circumstances.