I don't even know if I'm supposed to post this here or not
Idk I've been trying to make my life better for a while and it just doesn't get better
Sometimes it seems like its getting better but it doesn't last long anyway.
I can't kms bc I have a litte brother and I'm afraid of hell.
It just sucks so much.
I feel like a robot I don't even have real feelings anymore
All I can feel is feel desesperate and tired and even theses feelings feel superficial.
I'm failing everything I had a huge potential now it's all gone
I'm so slow and I suck at everything.
I once was in such unbearable pain that I was about to see a therapist (I'm very shy and awkward , I was a minor at the time didn't have money for it so the fact that i was about to see a therapist despite that means something),but i didn't have money for that ,I was about to pay with my 18th birthday money but i didnt know if that was enough so i gave up.
I feel lonely and ashamed of what I am.
I try to change ,i can't.
I hate whatever the fuck I am.
I feel embarassed each time i have to be around ppl ,even if I'm not doing anything wrong.
In a month I'll have to perform in front of thousands of ppl , there won't be any seat taken by my parents ,wich embarasses me because the other performers have 5~6 ppl they know going to see them and I feel ashamed about it.
When your parents dont love you you feel as if the whole world doesnt love you. What good can you be in the eyes of society if even your parents dont see any good in you?
Being here feels wrong
I truly don't understand.
I don't understand
I don't understand why do we have to live like this .
Idk I've been trying to make my life better for a while and it just doesn't get better
Sometimes it seems like its getting better but it doesn't last long anyway.
I can't kms bc I have a litte brother and I'm afraid of hell.
It just sucks so much.
I feel like a robot I don't even have real feelings anymore
All I can feel is feel desesperate and tired and even theses feelings feel superficial.
I'm failing everything I had a huge potential now it's all gone
I'm so slow and I suck at everything.
I once was in such unbearable pain that I was about to see a therapist (I'm very shy and awkward , I was a minor at the time didn't have money for it so the fact that i was about to see a therapist despite that means something),but i didn't have money for that ,I was about to pay with my 18th birthday money but i didnt know if that was enough so i gave up.
I feel lonely and ashamed of what I am.
I try to change ,i can't.
I hate whatever the fuck I am.
I feel embarassed each time i have to be around ppl ,even if I'm not doing anything wrong.
In a month I'll have to perform in front of thousands of ppl , there won't be any seat taken by my parents ,wich embarasses me because the other performers have 5~6 ppl they know going to see them and I feel ashamed about it.
When your parents dont love you you feel as if the whole world doesnt love you. What good can you be in the eyes of society if even your parents dont see any good in you?
Being here feels wrong
I truly don't understand.
I don't understand
I don't understand why do we have to live like this .
