Venting I'm so starved for any kind of affection from a girl

[ScornedStoic]

All my life since age 10 I've been rejected by literally every girl I've ever asked. And there have been numerous in different circumstances, with me trying different ways.

I'm just unlovable worthless trash apparently.

 

[Ghost2211]

Have you tried other ways of meeting people like the internet? Sometimes it can take a while to find someone that works with ones personality, but every is lovable by someone

 

[ScornedStoic]

Have you tried other ways of meeting people like the internet? Sometimes it can take a while to find someone that works with ones personality, but every is lovable by someone

There is something innate about me that is repulsive. I've never known exactly what it was or what combination, I have ideas, but at the end of the day it's something beyond my control. I'm just universally repugnant.

 

[goomsoom]

yea its natural for us to desire an relationship, we all need some validation. I can relate I have really bad anxiety too and think I will make everyone depressed so I continue to be alone.

 

[jgm63]

I would think there's someone for you "out there".
Perhaps it might come when you stop trying to look for it ?

I guess in some cases that could be overly simplistic, but in some cases it can be true.....

 

[ScornedStoic]

I would think there's someone for you "out there".
Perhaps it might come when you stop trying to look for it ?

I guess in some cases that could be overly simplistic, but in some cases it can be true.....

I'm 21 and no girl has ever flirted with me or shown interest.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

I'm 21 and no girl has ever flirted with me or shown interest.

Thought you were a girl due to your anime profile pic.

 

[ScornedStoic]

Thought you were a girl due to your anime profile pic.

No, I just like the character.

 

[Ghost2211]

There is something innate about me that is repulsive. I've never known exactly what it was or what combination, I have ideas, but at the end of the day it's something beyond my control. I'm just universally repugnant.

Is it possibly energy you put off? People will pick up on lack of confidence or aversion.

 

[ScornedStoic]

Is it possibly energy you put off? People will pick up on lack of confidence or aversion.

"Energy" isn't something quantifiable. If you're talking about confidence, I do "put on" confidence, but whatever insecurity comes through is a result of a lifetime of exclusion, isolation and hatred, and that's not something I can change. It's also an unfathomably shallow and vapid reason to exclude someone.

 

[Grandexit]

Do you have contact with lots of people day-to-day? Many people end up with people from their orbit; school, work, community groups, what ever. Internet dating apps are a shit show. Many, many people have very unpleasant experiences on them.

 

[NeverHungry]

This is an issue that a lot of people suffer with (but mostly men from my experience) and I'm sorry that you also feel this way.

If you are looking for a boost to your mood in relation to this, I believe there is a rather effective way... although it requires a serious amount of neural rewiring. So firstly - our society puts WAY too much emphasis on being in a relationship. A ridiculous amount - to the point where people define their worth off of relationship status (I once did this as well) I was heavily depressed because I could not find a partner. It was all I ever wanted - and when I eventually did get into a relationship, it was nice..... for the first couple of months - but then it turned into an absolute train wreck. I was going into this relationship expecting that this person would "complete" me, and when I still felt depressed and lonely despite having a partner, things very quickly went downhill.

I am a strong believer that human beings need love to survive - but it does not really matter where this love comes from. I think the issue here is how many will view different types of love as being "better" or "worse" than others. (for example, love from family and friends being "lesser" in comparison to love from a partner) Treating all types of love as equally effective and nourishing in your life is a really positive and effective way to feel better. My life is not happy by any stretch, but I do not spend every night feeling depressed about this anymore - I am happy to be single, because I do not feel like I am "missing out".

I'm sorry if this post feels patronising in any way, it is not my intention. I just know that I felt a lot better about this situation in general when I decided to not believe that a partner could complete me or fix my issues.

 

[ScornedStoic]

This is an issue that a lot of people suffer with (but mostly men from my experience) and I'm sorry that you also feel this way.

If you are looking for a boost to your mood in relation to this, I believe there is a rather effective way... although it requires a serious amount of neural rewiring. So firstly - our society puts WAY too much emphasis on being in a relationship. A ridiculous amount - to the point where people define their worth off of relationship status (I once did this as well) I was heavily depressed because I could not find a partner. It was all I ever wanted - and when I eventually did get into a relationship, it was nice..... for the first couple of months - but then it turned into an absolute train wreck. I was going into this relationship expecting that this person would "complete" me, and when I still felt depressed and lonely despite having a partner, things very quickly went downhill.

I am a strong believer that human beings need love to survive - but it does not really matter where this love comes from. I think the issue here is how many will view different types of love as being "better" or "worse" than others. (for example, love from family and friends being "lesser" in comparison to love from a partner) Treating all types of love as equally effective and nourishing in your life is a really positive and effective way to feel better. My life is not happy by any stretch, but I do not spend every night feeling depressed about this anymore - I am happy to be single, because I do not feel like I am "missing out".

I'm sorry if this post feels patronising in any way, it is not my intention. I just know that I felt a lot better about this situation in general when I decided to not believe that a partner could complete me or fix my issues.

It's less about feeling like a girl would save me and more about simply desiring love and hating myself for being seen by all women as unworthy of even a chance. It's dehumanizing.

Do you have contact with lots of people day-to-day? Many people end up with people from their orbit; school, work, community groups, what ever. Internet dating apps are a shit show. Many, many people have very unpleasant experiences on them.

I was for plenty of time and tried throughout that whole time. Nothing.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hello Love. Its totally my opinion, of course, but is it possible that because u think so lowly of yourself, that even if a female was giving u some attention, since u feel u don't deserve any, u didn't even notice it?? I believe there is someone for EVERYONE in this world, no matter the physical, mental, emotional, whatevers, there is a mate out there to fit. Persons with physical disfigurements n handicaps find love. Persons who r financially strained find love. Even the mentally insane find love. Surely my friend, u too can and will find love. BELIEVE that u deserve to and u will...
Take it from me, as a yoing woman-It's impossible for any woman to see u as unworthy if they don't even know u..U see u as unworthy..Just change ur mindset handsome n know that u ARE worthy of

 

[BFishy]

My feelings are so close if not dead on to Scorns feelings.
I find, trying to occupy myself helps. Any free or down time where I think, opens me up for more self emotional torture.