Venting I'm so fucking tired of being alone.

[endlesSquid]

I have moved so many times that sometimes I forget how many there have been... there have been so many incredible friendships that I have left behind...
I've been living in this city for about 3 years, it took so long to make friends in high school that they don't understand who I am and they just stopped talking to me... I'm still in contact with 2 of them but it's hard since they have less time because of the university ... if only they hadn't kicked me out of high school I could be happy with them or new people... the only ones that keep me sane are my friends from my old town... sadly I met them 1 week before I moved and We have been talking, playing and having a good time through different social networks for 3 years but whenever they all go out together I feel so empty knowing that it will probably be a long time before I can see them in person... they are always so happy... together... always I see the photos they upload on Instagram or other sites and I feel so jealous, lonely and sad.
Although they always encourage me by telling me that the time will come for us to see each other, I have already waited for that moment for a long time... I really know that they will be sad if I leave but it still does not take away the fact that I will die alone and they will be able to continue together as if I never would have been born I would like to live in a world where my problems speaking to people did not exist, a world where I could not be alone in front of my computer every day...
I only wish I had never been born... and even so I know that everything would be the same for everyone. I'm not someone important, I don't stand out at anything, they always throw me in the face that I'm a failure without any talent or skills for anything.

I just wish dying didn't terrify me so much... sadly I'm a coward and I don't know when my time will come.

But I hope it's soon.

 

[zipperstuck5171]

I feel your pain. My ex did a number on me. I don't think many know how to be in a relationship. Once they get past the honeymoon phase everything goes to shit. My ex broke up with me with a message couldn't even say it to me.

 

[MrDarkness]

My so called always do stuff together, never tell me anything, I'm so fucking lonely and tired, but heart hurts like it actually hurts

 

[FuneralCry]

I also wish I never existed, never existing at all certainly sounds so ideal to me but I get that loneliness is painful for so many who exist here, existence is just too cruel.

 

[dialogos]

These things happen. In fact, a lot of people move and have to leave friends, family, loved ones behind. I'm sure you're aware of that. We lose our old support groups and find we can't replace them and that is hard. Some cope by going to church, some join a book club etc. Most of the time these are excuses to find a group they can belong to. It can be frightening at first and stress inducing. But the risk might be worth it.

 

[endlesSquid]

Some cope by going to church, some join a book club etc. Most of the time these are excuses to find a group they can belong to. It can be frightening at first and stress inducing. But the risk might be worth it.

I actually started practicing martial arts, I lied to myself saying that I needed discipline when in reality what I wanted (and what I want) is for someone to be my friend, and even though it's something I really enjoy I feel like I don't fit in among everyone else, no one has tried to be my friend and every time I try to open up a conversation it feels cold and like no one cares... but I still enjoy walking home lonely

I also wish I never existed, never existing at all certainly sounds so ideal to me but I get that loneliness is painful for so many who exist here, existence is just too cruel.

Sometimes we must accept that we are already here... and no matter how much it hurts, we must wait for the right time for eternal rest.

 

[dialogos]

i

I actually started practicing martial arts, I lied to myself saying that I needed discipline when in reality what I wanted (and what I want) is for someone to be my friend, and even though it's something I really enjoy I feel like I don't fit in among everyone else, no one has tried to be my friend and every time I try to open up a conversation it feels cold and like no one cares... but I still enjoy walking home lonely

Sometimes we must accept that we are already here... and no matter how much it hurts, we must wait for the right time for eternal rest.

im available though not always online

 

[stage4johnny]

Good for you to take up martial arts! Keep at it,fitness is a great antidote to depression, at least it can help.

Lets face it: being sociable is just hard for you! It doesn't mean impossible. There's a bunch of courses and what not that can help people get better. Try "Major Mark Cunningham,the renegade hypnotist. He teaches guys to feel better and be more confident.

Good luck.

 

[endlesSquid]

Good for you to take up martial arts! Keep at it,fitness is a great antidote to depression, at least it can help.

Lets face it: being sociable is just hard for you! It doesn't mean impossible. There's a bunch of courses and what not that can help people get better. Try "Major Mark Cunningham,the renegade hypnotist. He teaches guys to feel better and be more confident.

Good luck.

Thanks for the comment, the good vibes and the recommendation. I will definitely check it out!

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

ive honestly become used to it, sure it sucks but eh, been this way my entire life so

 

[day]

For me despite trying to surround myself with peers I feel lonely. No one understands and so after a short amount of time it's like the only reason I keep them as friends is to appear normal.

I then end up just feeling lonely again and that's the cycle. There's just to much suffering in this disgusting world..