Venting I’m so exhausted by stress

[ThatStateOfMind]

I've tried so much to reduce my stress, so many different methods and ways I've tried, but it's exhausting. All this college prep is wearing me out. I imagine it'll tone down as the summer starts and I go to college. Still, there's always gonna be a constant stressor I imagine. Seeing my ex nearly every day won't be fun. It's such a small campus I highly doubt I can avoid it. I'm likely going to make use of the counseling services, as I doubt I'm the first one to be there for relationship issues.

As unrealistic as it is, I've had a recurring dream where my ex leaves the guy she's with now and comes back to me. Half the time I take her back, but the other half of the time I tell her she's missed her chance. The dreams have happened multiple times, I haven't kept count. It fucking sucks though. When I woke up after telling her no, I thought maybe that minor change (which wasn't me being lucid, just dream me making a different decision I guess) would stop the recurring dream but nope, still happens, still sucks. You'd think I'd be lucid and realize it's a dream after having it so many times but I don't.

The saddest part of all this is, I can't even say for certain that I'd say no to her, I'd probably say yes. I hate it but I love her still, regardless of how badly she hurt me. She made me feel like I was worth something. I don't know, I feel like a mad man rambling here, but I needed to get this off my chest, and I don't trust anywhere else to post stuff like this. I hope this stress leaves, and I can regain control of my heart.

(I'm hopeful about college and the possibility of meeting someone new)

 

[Heavenbound]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately I can't offer any remedies for stress, I never found anything to work really.
I know how hard it is to get over an ex, but I can't imagine what it would be like to see them frequently like you anticipate will happen.
I hope that you do take advantage of the counseling services. Maybe they can help you with some suggestions on how to get over her.
I'm glad that you're hopeful about college and that you're open to meeting someone new. I really hope things work out for you.

 

[aitouka]

I really hope the counselling service works for you. I can't get over my ex as well, and I always keep thinking that they will come back to me, so I get you. It's hard to get over someone you love or loved with all your heart. Good luck in college as well, perhaps use academics to distract you from your ex, though I know that might be even more stressful for some people so please see what works the best for you.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately I can't offer any remedies for stress, I never found anything to work really.
I know how hard it is to get over an ex, but I can't imagine what it would be like to see them frequently like you anticipate will happen.
I hope that you do take advantage of the counseling services. Maybe they can help you with some suggestions on how to get over her.
I'm glad that you're hopeful about college and that you're open to meeting someone new. I really hope things work out for you.

Thanks I really do support the consolation and the response to the many facets of my post.

The stress will likely prove difficult to manage, and it's very hard to get over my ex. Especially as I'm almost certain I'm gonna see her and her boyfriend at college. She's at a technical college and she's gonna be there for the summer, and he's going to community college for the summer semester to graduate sooner (I want to start sooner to graduate ASAP).

I do hope I can utilize the counseling resources, I imagine they will be a great deal of help if I can gain the confidence to set up an appointment with them and talk about my problems. And thanks, I hope things work out for me as well with college. My ex is a confusing situation as I wanna stay friends, and she does as well, but it's behind her boyfriends back, so it's complicated.

I really hope the counselling service works for you. I can't get over my ex as well, and I always keep thinking that they will come back to me, so I get you. It's hard to get over someone you love or loved with all your heart. Good luck in college as well, perhaps use academics to distract you from your ex, though I know that might be even more stressful for some people so please see what works the best for you.

I know I may not be of much help, but if you need someone to talk to, you can start a private conversation with me and I can lend an ear.

That being said, I hope the counseling service works too. I guess my hopes aren't baseless as she tells me that she doesn't see her and this guy lasting sometimes and it gets my hopes up. Also, my hopes is that the academics will help me get over my ex, or at least not think about her as often. Can't do that if I'm studying haha. I think it will work, school was a good escape from my problems beforehand, so I hope college will serve me the same way, and in the end, I'm doing computer science, so I can get a decent job after it all and improve my life.

I hope to get a good job and good healthcare and try and treat myself mentally. That's my hopes, I hope I achieve that for myself.

 

[Holu]

I've tried so much to reduce my stress, so many different methods and ways I've tried, but it's exhausting. All this college prep is wearing me out. I imagine it'll tone down as the summer starts and I go to college. Still, there's always gonna be a constant stressor I imagine. Seeing my ex nearly every day won't be fun. It's such a small campus I highly doubt I can avoid it. I'm likely going to make use of the counseling services, as I doubt I'm the first one to be there for relationship issues.

As unrealistic as it is, I've had a recurring dream where my ex leaves the guy she's with now and comes back to me. Half the time I take her back, but the other half of the time I tell her she's missed her chance. The dreams have happened multiple times, I haven't kept count. It fucking sucks though. When I woke up after telling her no, I thought maybe that minor change (which wasn't me being lucid, just dream me making a different decision I guess) would stop the recurring dream but nope, still happens, still sucks. You'd think I'd be lucid and realize it's a dream after having it so many times but I don't.

The saddest part of all this is, I can't even say for certain that I'd say no to her, I'd probably say yes. I hate it but I love her still, regardless of how badly she hurt me. She made me feel like I was worth something. I don't know, I feel like a mad man rambling here, but I needed to get this off my chest, and I don't trust anywhere else to post stuff like this. I hope this stress leaves, and I can regain control of my heart.

(I'm hopeful about college and the possibility of meeting someone new)

I get the same dreams. My weak willed ass will always come crawling back to her if she wanted it. I never got how people "got over" someone. Maybe they are lying, maybe not. I refuse to be in a relationship because I couldn't bring that pain if they ended up getting attached to me and I was still attached to my ex. Don't have the heart to hurt someone sweet enough to love me.

I hope you find someone though, and I hope she(or he cuz u never kno) is better than your previous partner. I know you are focused on the future, so let the pain of the experience you have suffered through empower and teach you for your next relationship.

I wish you nothing but the best. If you ever need to vent to someone about your ex we are here. Dms always open ofc. Stay strong and chin up soldier.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I get the same dreams. My weak willed ass will always come crawling back to her if she wanted it. I never got how people "got over" someone. Maybe they are lying, maybe not. I refuse to be in a relationship because I couldn't bring that pain if they ended up getting attached to me and I was still attached to my ex. Don't have the heart to hurt someone sweet enough to love me.

I hope you find someone though, and I hope she(or he cuz u never kno) is better than your previous partner. I know you are focused on the future, so let the pain of the experience you have suffered through empower and teach you for your next relationship.

I wish you nothing but the best. If you ever need to vent to someone about your ex we are here. Dms always open ofc. Stay strong and chin up soldier.

Those dreams fucking suck, I had them again too, as well as other dreams about various things (my dreams have always been really strange, so that makes this recurring one odd). That's also the reason I'm only just now getting comfortable with the idea of dating someone else, I feel like if I did a couple months ago, I would've probably hurt her as I was still very attached to my ex but now I feel detached just enough to date (which still isn't very detached but I could fix that for the right person I think).

I'm also fairly certain I'm into women but I suppose you do never know. Read a story on Reddit where a guy got annoyed of his parents trying to get him to marry someone, so he told them he was gay. Then, they tried to get him to marry a guy. The mom used a book of people she thinks he should date (it's basically an arranged marriage type thing) and she changed the book to men after he said that and he actually fell in love with one of them. Interesting story tbh. And I'm trying to use this as a learning experience. My senior quote was even "Good times make good memories, but bad times make good lessons", and I should apply that here.

And thank you, I feel like I vent here about the same situation too often, but some things change and I deal with many highs and lows regarding it. You've actually been very kind and amusing on my previous post and other posts I've seen, so it's nice seeing you on another post.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring being trapped in that stressful situation but anyway I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It must be tiring being trapped in that stressful situation but anyway I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

It is quite tiring, but thanks for your kindness.

 

[SexyIncél]

Maybe you should learn a foreign language or two. For when you work from home, anywhere in the world. Quite a few people in other countries would be attracted to a byronic, fun, caring guy

I don't know, just a crazy ill-formed thought

 

[Callie Arcale]

SSRI helped me tune down my stress levels. Sadly, I am sensitive to meds, so I can only take a low dosage, which doesn't do much. But man… it was so nice to be on 75 mg Zoloft at one point, before the side effects kicked in. I couldn't cry even if I tried.

 

[NorthernMonkey]

Of course you would say yes. Chances are, she isn't going to come back. But you know when she will? When you are getting over her, moving on with your life, and starting to feel good. Right now she knows she can click her fingers and get you back, that isn't attractive. If she thinks she can't get you back, that is attractive. People are so weird!

 

[SexyIncél]

Of course you would say yes. Chances are, she isn't going to come back. But you know when she will? When you are getting over her, moving on with your life, and starting to feel good. Right now she knows she can click her fingers and get you back, that isn't attractive. If she thinks she can't get you back, that is attractive. People are so weird!

Good point! Especially because hearing about problems drains most people. Some get energized, but they're rare

Also "social validation". Groupthink halo effect where someone's more interested in you, when they see others are interested in you

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Maybe you should learn a foreign language or two. For when you work from home, anywhere in the world. Quite a few people in other countries would be attracted to a byronic, fun, caring guy

I don't know, just a crazy ill-formed thought

I know some Spanish lol, not nearly enough to hold a conversation. I've considered learning a foreign language like Spanish for the main reason of being able to go to Mexico and not have to stick to touristy areas

SSRI helped me tune down my stress levels. Sadly, I am sensitive to meds, so I can only take a low dosage, which doesn't do much. But man… it was so nice to be on 75 mg Zoloft at one point, before the side effects kicked in. I couldn't cry even if I tried.

I was offered it but I'm ngl I was too scared to do it, not a good first step in my mind. I haven't tried therapy or anything. I was offered Prozac.

Of course you would say yes. Chances are, she isn't going to come back. But you know when she will? When you are getting over her, moving on with your life, and starting to feel good. Right now she knows she can click her fingers and get you back, that isn't attractive. If she thinks she can't get you back, that is attractive. People are so weird!

Yeah obviously once I've moved on, I'm going to remain platonic but that's it. I guess I'll just have to wait one day at a time and see where life takes me. I wanna start going to the gym once I begin college as a way to destress, might even try to clean up my diet a little and eat more than I do now. With that will hopefully come newfound confidence and that's always a plus to have.

Good point! Especially because hearing about problems drains most people. Some get energized, but they're rare

Also "social validation". Groupthink halo effect where someone's more interested in you, when they see others are interested in you

The human brain is quite fascinating in the way it works, looking forward to taking a psychology elective in college, it will hopefully keep my interest lol.