Discussion I'm so excited and anxious

[AssFullofSalad]

I'm new here and this is my first post, but I had to tell someone who would understand. I ordered the things I need for my ctb plan. I am so elated, but I've also had slightly mixed emotions about it. My parents are abusive, I came back to live with them (after moving out at 18) when my marriage failed. It has truly been pure hell. They are honestly horrible people and extremely narcissistic. I'm very happy to leave this sitaution as it's very hard for me to get out on my own for reasons. I am devastated to be leaving behind my younger siblings and my dog. I am also quite anxious. I don't like situations where I don't know what to expect, I always want to be prepared. Obviously, no one truly knows what comes after death. I am religious, and my religion does have ideas about the afterlife that bring me comfort. But still, nothing is set in stone. There truly is no way to know without being there. Honestly though, I just keep hanging onto the idea I might see my brother again. I wrote a note to him on his birthday this year that I can't wait for him to come bring me to the afterlife. I hope he does. The SN will be here by Christmas and I'm working on getting the meto through an online pharmacy provider (they've given me the run around with appointment scheduling but it's my only option so I'm staying persistent and patient lol). I will not give out resources until I receive the things, as I want to make sure I'm giving out the safest/most accurate information possible. If I get a wellness check or something else happens I'd rather have it happen to me so I can warn people rather than taking others down with me, yknow? So please refrain from DMing for sources until December 25th-onward.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best of luck with your plans.