Venting im so angry

[aushunaph]

all i want to do is die and die and die but i can't fucking do it because i live with my parents. im such a fucking failure. i fail to get a job i fail to do well in school i fail and fail and fail to lose weight or make friends or play piano or learn anything and ive failed my attempts before. it's so fucking selfish to let me live because of how THEY feel. but they never consider that all my life i've been so fucking done. so done with them so done with everything ever. so done with eating and starving and eating and eating and eating until i have to puke. and there's nothing i can do about it. nothing i can do to fix this stupid situation. no drugs to make me feel better, no porn, and nothing to ctb with. i hate them so much and theyre such abusers for forcing me to live this hell.

 

[fadedghost]

all i want to do is die and die and die but i can't fucking do it because i live with my parents. im such a fucking failure. i fail to get a job i fail to do well in school i fail and fail and fail to lose weight or make friends or play piano or learn anything and ive failed my attempts before. it's so fucking selfish to let me live because of how THEY feel. but they never consider that all my life i've been so fucking done. so done with them so done with everything ever. so done with eating and starving and eating and eating and eating until i have to puke. and there's nothing i can do about it. nothing i can do to fix this stupid situation. no drugs to make me feel better, no porn, and nothing to ctb with. i hate them so much and theyre such abusers for forcing me to live this hell.

Have you tried Dialectical Behavioral Therapy?

Not everyone can do well in school, but most people can work and getting a job is about sending tons of resumes out. You send out 100 resumes for every 1 reply. You have to not take it personally, or get attached to ideas of jobs, it's just a numbers game, 1000 resumes = job. 20 resumes that are well-crafted = no job. Also if you have no job experience, you can always volunteer somewhere and put that on your resume. AI helps with applying to 1000 jobs. Spend 2 hours a day applying to anything. Don't think, just apply.

all i want to do is die and die and die but i can't fucking do it because i live with my parents. im such a fucking failure. i fail to get a job i fail to do well in school i fail and fail and fail to lose weight or make friends or play piano or learn anything and ive failed my attempts before. it's so fucking selfish to let me live because of how THEY feel. but they never consider that all my life i've been so fucking done. so done with them so done with everything ever. so done with eating and starving and eating and eating and eating until i have to puke. and there's nothing i can do about it. nothing i can do to fix this stupid situation. no drugs to make me feel better, no porn, and nothing to ctb with. i hate them so much and theyre such abusers for forcing me to live this hell.

Also I feel like there are asperbergers meetups if thats what you have... Have you checked online? People with autism probably meet and hangout. Is aus in your screenname autism?