Venting im sick of here..

[Yamillie]

im 19F almost to be 20. i have completed nothing with my life. i never peaked in high school. i failed my mother and didn't end up going to uni. i have no friends, the healthcare system doesn't give a shit that i am suffering, i had therapy over zoom after my first attempt which honestly did nothing for me i would just lie and they believed me i had 4 weeks of it before i was written off, they did nothing for me. i feel like i cant do anything with my life my only viable option to make money is porn because i'm not skilled in anything enough to compete in todays job pool, i have a retail job which i hate, it shows me the filth of what we call people every day, i see parents abusing their small tired children, men say the most vile things towards me, women look down on me and criticise me, seeing this every day makes me realise i
dont want to be in society like this, i want to safe myself from it but i dont have a easy method to access, i cant get these buyable ways as im broke almost all of the time and for my past attempts i tried with scissors and knifes but Si kicked in, i am at a loss idk what to do… i hate it here, its rotten, i just want to be free.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I despise this sick society for forcing good people to be wage-slaves to a parasitical and predatory financial system.
I'm also sick and tired of other people causing unnecessary suffering for others. Vile, stupid and selfish morons are everywhere and you can't escape them.
These fuckers are everywhere and I wish they would all just die.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. You don't deserve any of it.
I wish you peace in whatever you decide to do.

 

[TheNihilisticViking]

Hey there! I wouldn't worry too much because you're going to eventually meet your natural demise (death) and also there is a societal collapse coming in the upcoming decade or two (it has already been predicted). I'm 28 male from UK and I have quite severe mental health problems and I don't work because I claim disability income, so I'm lucky enough to live in a place such as UK with a decent welfare system. Do what you need to do in order to get by, but think hard and heavy about whether you want to CTB or not. I am currently doing this. I'm on medication (Fluoxetine Prozac) for my mental health problems, so I do get moments of peace and I'm awaiting therapy in the form of CBT or talking therapy, so I'll see how that goes. I'm trying to be somewhat pragmatic about my entire situation.

 

[Huntfish34]

I hear ya on Everything, can relate more than I'd care to admit. This world we all live in.... This thing they call, Society.. it's All gone to fcknn shit. I am Absolutely sick and tired of it, I've seen enough.

Maybe I ( we) , can gather the strength and courage 1 day .... To rid ourselves from this damn nation. Probably do the world a favor in the process. Such a vicious and toxic cycle to say the Least.

You are worth more and certainly deserve better. Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen, Godspeed- ♥

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm sorry to hear your life is like this, I knew working in retail is bad but not this bad, people really can be pigs, as for advice I really can't say, life is a gamble is either good or so fucking horrible we wish to die, I hope your able to find peace in life or death

 

[Yamillie]

I hear ya on Everything, can relate more than I'd care to admit. This world we all live in.... This thing they call, Society.. it's All gone to fcknn shit. I am Absolutely sick and tired of it, I've seen enough.

Maybe I ( we) , can gather the strength and courage 1 day .... To rid ourselves from this damn nation. Probably do the world a favor in the process. Such a vicious and toxic cycle to say the Least.

You are worth more and certainly deserve better. Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen, Godspeed- ♥

thank you i need to find a good method that will do it, i am not failing again just to have family i never see send me empty messages, i will not be in a hospital again or ' counselling ' i refuse i just want this to be over :c

 

[Rack.-]

Heyo, I'm going through something similar here. I'm completely devastated inside because I have nobody to talk or to simply be next to when I feel bad... So I'm sorry you are feeling this way as well. I wish things get better for you *hug* *hug*

 

[FuneralCry]

This world certainly is such a dreadful and horrific place, I also despise existence and it's really understandable just wishing to be permanently free from everything, sadly suicide just isn't easy as suicide is purposely made as difficult as possible by other people who wish to make us prisoners to this existence until we die anyway.

 

[Yamillie]

This world certainly is such a dreadful and horrific place, I also despise existence and it's really understandable just wishing to be permanently free from everything, sadly suicide just isn't easy as suicide is purposely made as difficult as possible by other people who wish to make us prisoners to this existence until we die anyway.

its not fair, why cant they let existence be a choice? i didn't choose this, i didn't want this. i need a method soon, i want to leave..

 

[Jolene79]

I'd end it now if I worked in retail!! Is there any hope of something in the public sector where you are somehow doing something with or for other vulnerable people. This was the type of work that always saved me. It tends to attract people with lots of their own struggles and that helped me feel so much less alone. You sound way too good for the likes of retail. Get out of that as a priority.

If you're way beyond that point then just ignore that. I appreciate things get to a point where you just can't do anything x

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Do you have any interest in going to university? It sounds like that's a regret of yours.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

i had therapy over zoom after my first attempt which honestly did nothing for me i would just lie and they believed me i had 4 weeks of it before i was written off, they did nothing for me.

Do you think that they may have been able to help you had you not lied?

 

[Yamillie]

I'd end it now if I worked in retail!! Is there any hope of something in the public sector where you are somehow doing something with or for other vulnerable people. This was the type of work that always saved me. It tends to attract people with lots of their own struggles and that helped me feel so much less alone. You sound way too good for the likes of retail. Get out of that as a priority.

If you're way beyond that point then just ignore that. I appreciate things get to a point where you just can't do anything x

im not good with dealing with other people's emotions the job that i have this is the only job i got after months of searching

Do you have any interest in going to university? It sounds like that's a regret of yours.

not really, it was something my mother wanted me to do but she can't let go of tire fact i didnt attend one which just makes me feel like a failure everyday

Do you think that they may have been able to help you had you not lied?

no, i did try but the uk counselling has a bad reputation for a reason i felt like a burden to my counsellor, interrupting her time with my problems and she did nothing to make me feel different instead just making do a session with my abuser which only made me want to leave it more