ijustwishtodie
death will be my ultimate bliss
- Oct 29, 2023
- 4,264
I'm full of fear right now. I'm scared for my future as it will go in one of two ways. Firstly, I'd be unable to go through life's demands (like university and work) which would subsequently cause me to get disowned and treated like shit. Secondly, I'd be able to conform to life but, due to the cycle of wage slavery being so exhausting, I'd have no energy left to do anything and thus forever be forced to be a wage slave until I reach natural death. Both scenarios scare the hell out of me and I don't want any scenario to be true. To avoid both scenarios from occurring, I'd have to kill myself but, as expected of the theme of my post here, I'm scared to. I can't access any peaceful methods so instead I'm forced to resort to horrific and brutal suicide methods such as drowning. I'm extremely sensitive to pain hence I'm extremely scared of dying due to all the pain that I would have to go through. My final moments won't be in peace, instead it'll be in painful agony and terror due to SI making me irrationally fight for life despite me not wanting it.
I really feel like I'm in checkmate and that there's nothing that I can do. I feel like I'd be forced to deal with being scared for the rest of my life and acknowledging this fact causes me to be even more scared. All of this could have been prevented if society was kind enough to occur me euthanasia but, no, humans are the worst species in this accursed planet so of course they'd never offer euthanasia to a person full of pain like me
I really feel like I'm in checkmate and that there's nothing that I can do. I feel like I'd be forced to deal with being scared for the rest of my life and acknowledging this fact causes me to be even more scared. All of this could have been prevented if society was kind enough to occur me euthanasia but, no, humans are the worst species in this accursed planet so of course they'd never offer euthanasia to a person full of pain like me