lxzzyisgxne6969
New Member
- Mar 22, 2024
- 1
i'm gonna just go through with it because there's nothing here for me. my life is a living hell and i have literally fucking nobody. i've lost everyone and theres no one to blame for it but me. my mother loves to fucking victimize herself knowing everyone in my family favors her over me and now everyone is looking at me like i'm a demon or something. she claims she loves me, well she has a sick, sick, sick way of fucking showing it. i could go on and on about how horrible these past 13 years have been. i haven't been happy since i was 4 and i've accepted that i never will be happy again. i've been trying to make my exit since i was 5 and i have failed miserably time and time again either that or i pussy out but i'm getting baptized next month and then that's it for me. nothing more, nothing less. soon after i'll find a way to be dead. too bad i won't die skinny like i always wanted. i just need to learn how to hide it like i used to. it's just come to a point where i don't shut the fuck up and make myself too known. i can't trust anyone. they want me to be fucking miserable. but in a sense, i kinda see myself as just a person God put here as an example to the people He actually does love, yknow? so they can look at me and say, "wow, i never wanna be like that." and everyone just laughs at me for it, or plays a victim and makes everything about them and acts like they've never done anything bad to me. aka my mom. idk. all i know, i'm not living past 18. i've never seen myself living past 19, well now we're taking it down a year and i am NOT living past 2024.
