Oneness
The eternal awaits
- Oct 23, 2023
- 118
I'm ready to die, but just thinking about actually doing it is too much. I wish I could just disappear right now without any fuss. The idea of wiping my digital footprint, like cleaning out my hard drives and phone, feels impossible. Writing a will and suicide notes, trying to explain my pain to people who never really got me, seems like a task I can't handle. Figuring out how to do it without making a mess for someone else to deal with is more than I can deal with.
I'm drowning in this emptiness, and the thought of getting everything in order before I go is ridiculous. Every move, every thought, every heartbeat just reminds me of how tired and hopeless I am.
I dream about a quiet way out, slipping away without anyone noticing, leaving nothing behind but a faint trace that I was here. But reality is a cruel joke. The final step needs more energy than I've got. I'm stuck in this awful middle ground, too drained to die, too broken to live. The world keeps turning, not caring about my pain, while I'm stuck here, wishing for an end that feels like it will never come.
I'm drowning in this emptiness, and the thought of getting everything in order before I go is ridiculous. Every move, every thought, every heartbeat just reminds me of how tired and hopeless I am.
I dream about a quiet way out, slipping away without anyone noticing, leaving nothing behind but a faint trace that I was here. But reality is a cruel joke. The final step needs more energy than I've got. I'm stuck in this awful middle ground, too drained to die, too broken to live. The world keeps turning, not caring about my pain, while I'm stuck here, wishing for an end that feels like it will never come.