Story I’m Out

[Rocksandsand]

Thank you all for being amazing. This forum has been a godsend. There are so many members here who I genuinely care about (and genuinely cared about before they left).

I've taken a stat dose of meto, some benzos, and an antacid. I'll be taking my SN in an hour. I feel like I need to tell my story fully here so someone knows me and how I got to this point.

I was raped in 2016 - this happened at a party with cocaine and a friends with benefits scenario. His cousin raped me. I knew this man through work. He proceeded to spread rumours about me for the past three years. I pressed charges but they went nowhere. I was propositioned by the detective after making my statement.

I have a partner - also through work. He has heard the rumours and my past, and has been extremely emotionally and financially abusive.

I have been suicidal and depressed for a long, long time. Since I was a kid.

I feel like it's finally my time. I am calm about this. I am devastated about the pain I am about to cause my brother and father. But I can't do this anymore.

I've loved having this forum as a support. Peace and love to you all.
Roxanne

 

[Alchemist]

I'm sorry to see you go. Wish we could have talked more. Take care.

 

[Rocksandsand]

I'm sorry to see you go. Wish we could have talked more. Take care.

I still have 50min or so for chatting! I feel very calm now knowing I am going to leave

 

[Rachel74]

So sorry to see you go rocksandsand. I hope you find peace

 

[Sadwind]

I don't know you but I hope the best for you. It sounds like you've been through a lot and I admire your strength.

 

[Life+me=error]

All the best on your last journey. Whatever comes next shall be more peaceful for you.

 

[Laststop]

I'm very sorry for all that you've been through. I'm sorry it's come to this. I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

Thank you all for being amazing. This forum has been a godsend. There are so many members here who I genuinely care about (and genuinely cared about before they left).

I've taken a stat dose of meto, some benzos, and an antacid. I'll be taking my SN in an hour. I feel like I need to tell my story fully here so someone knows me and how I got to this point.

I was raped in 2016 - this happened at a party with cocaine and a friends with benefits scenario. His cousin raped me. I knew this man through work. He proceeded to spread rumours about me for the past three years. I pressed charges but they went nowhere. I was propositioned by the detective after making my statement.

I have a partner - also through work. He has heard the rumours and my past, and has been extremely emotionally and financially abusive.

I have been suicidal and depressed for a long, long time. Since I was a kid.

I feel like it's finally my time. I am calm about this. I am devastated about the pain I am about to cause my brother and father. But I can't do this anymore.

I've loved having this forum as a support. Peace and love to you all.
Roxanne

Did you fast? and good luck

 

[mxe is the best]

that is an awful thing to happen to you. you don't deserve that
thank you for helping me when i posted

 

[Return2Dust]

I didn't get an opportunity to know you. I'm sorry you had so much pain in your life. I hope you find peace.

 

[JimFord99]

Thank you all for being amazing. This forum has been a godsend. There are so many members here who I genuinely care about (and genuinely cared about before they left).

I've taken a stat dose of meto, some benzos, and an antacid. I'll be taking my SN in an hour. I feel like I need to tell my story fully here so someone knows me and how I got to this point.

I was raped in 2016 - this happened at a party with cocaine and a friends with benefits scenario. His cousin raped me. I knew this man through work. He proceeded to spread rumours about me for the past three years. I pressed charges but they went nowhere. I was propositioned by the detective after making my statement.

I have a partner - also through work. He has heard the rumours and my past, and has been extremely emotionally and financially abusive.

I have been suicidal and depressed for a long, long time. Since I was a kid.

I feel like it's finally my time. I am calm about this. I am devastated about the pain I am about to cause my brother and father. But I can't do this anymore.

I've loved having this forum as a support. Peace and love to you all.
Roxanne

I sincerely wish you all the best, hope you will find peace after all you went through, wish there was another way but you made your choice. Sorry to see you go, Roxy.

 

[Wayfaerer]

I'm sorry things hadn't worked out like you were hoping. May your passing go as smoothly as possible.

 

[wendydong1]

wish you peaceful success

 

[SinisterKid]

I know that calmness and its the most seductive sensation I have ever experienced.

I can only offer simple words. Safe travels to whatever comes next and hopefully its better than what this world has to offer you. Peace be unto you Roxanne, I will miss my Aussie mate.

 

[Dystopia]

Really sorry to see you go; I hope it goes smoothly for you and is as peaceful as possible. Sending some love your way too, you will be missed

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

*hugs*

 

[Rocksandsand]

It's amazing how attached you get to people on here. I feel so connected to you all.

@SinisterKid the calmness is similar to an opiate high. I can't believe how calm I am

Edit: calmness could be from the benzos bahaha

 

[andy69]

Please find peace.

 

[SinisterKid]

I just know once I had made my decision, just felt exactly as you are describing now. Its a very weird feeling to be having when you consider what the result of the following actions will hopefully be.

 

[Blackjack]

I have always enjoyed your postings on here, thank you for your positive contributions. I wish you a peaceful transition. Know that you will be missed.

 

[JimFord99]

Glad to see you feeling Okay. Not long to go, all the best.

 

[Rocksandsand]

Half an hour to go. I am eating ice cubes right now - an addiction of mine. Hoping this won't fuck up the SN

 

[Thanatos]

Glad you are calm and ready for your well deserved peace. I have my sn on the way and hope to join you soon

 

[JimFord99]

How much SN did you take?

 

[Aleksandra]

i love you

 

[Rocksandsand]

I haven't taken it yet. I'm about to prep it. I'm planning to take 20g.

 

[Darkhaven]

What kind of world are we living in, when the people who do things like you mentioned stay alive and escape unscathed and people like us have to suffer like this and end up taking our lifes? Is Justice just a fool's errand for our "civilization"?
I'm sorry it has come to this and i'm sorry to witness another member that i always enjoyed to hear and read from leaving. You are the second in a space of 3 days.
I hope you don't feel a thing and i know you will find the peace you deserve.
May these horrible people who hurt you pay tenfold for all the harm they have caused.

 

[Gabriel bi]

should you let a rapist be the cause of your fate?

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

should you let a rapist be the cause of your fate?

She did say she had been deppresed since she was a kid. That rapist is probably one of many other reasons.

 

[Rocksandsand]

I've just taken the SN. It's the saltiest thing I have ever tasted. I have slight stomach discomfort but overall I feel okay