Story I'm one day clean from my active addiction

[oneess]

I had a relapse 2 weeks ago, I'm struggling with addiction to multiple substances, the primary one is cannabis. I even wasn't active here because weed just make me sluggish, literally like a slug, addiction sucks, but in so happy that just for today I'm clean. Thanks to that I had a pretty much good and needed day after self isolating myself from the world. Life is still a bummer and I don't want to live like that, but I had a conversation with my therapist at the hospital today and I told her that being clean just for today gave me this feeling of Hope and clarity, feelings that I want to continue happening inside my dead brain. I don't know how many of you struggle with addiction or weed addiction at least, but I was clean before and I have a lot of friends that are clean for more extended time that I've ever reached. All I'm trying to say is that I truly thankful for the day I had, and for those of you that struggle with addiction, being clean is possible!

Much love to you all <3


EDIT:
wanted to mention that today is my 1 year anniversary of being "clean" from my most dangerous addiction, codependency. It's been a year since I cut contact with a person who made me what I am for the last 3 years, never thought I still be alive without her in my life, all the time with her everytime I would imagine about cbt was about her, ctb with her, or because of her. I'm pretty thankful that all of that is behind me

 

[dandan]

20 trata depressed almost 21 since i started smoking weed and other substances, stronger substances. I've been constantly smoking weed since I recovered from depression. 9 months depression free. But I have not been able to stop smoking for more than some days or weeks. I had always go back to smoke with or without reason.

Tomorrow is Friday, I stopped smoking Tuesday, it was to be Sunday but I found an unfinished joint Monday, and tuesday I mix many last pieces of like 6 joints and mix tobacco and build last joint of the week.


I really want to stop smoking this time, like you said, it makes me really sluggish and I dont need that at all....


Going to AA or NA meetings is kind of cool and also not cool at all.... many fucked up people with everything , I can go to the nice wealthy meetings, going to poor people's uneducated meetings is just not my style. And rich or wealthy people meetings have many people which I dknt agree with.... many sayings that I dont like but it does had help me to stop smoking or pills or inhaling some stuff...

So yeah I get this part of you.... the bathroom still has the bong and grinder ... when i have throw them away in the past I have regretted it because then I have to buy again LOL

I have went to smoke again because I dont find a good idea to make some business or idea work out and i fool myself believing that smoking i would get a great idea...

Hahhaha fool me ...


Just for today , that does work...

I miss the gym... working out, with my Testosterone treatment and some days I took my dianabol pill, and damn it was cool...

But i want to find a way to make some money man.

Been thinking of making a kind of secret underground lottery , or my own crowdfunding betting idea with mobile app , which in poor quality but it's almost built. Like 90%

But getting people into it means I have to promote it and loose face, damn that's not easy hahahhaha
Even when I day I don't care what people think of me hahaha very contradicting.


Good luck my friend , I will definitely not smoke tomorrow.

 

[SipSop]

I had a relapse 2 weeks ago, I'm struggling with addiction to multiple substances, the primary one is cannabis. I even wasn't active here because weed just make me sluggish, literally like a slug, addiction sucks, but in so happy that just for today I'm clean. Thanks to that I had a pretty much good and needed day after self isolating myself from the world. Life is still a bummer and I don't want to live like that, but I had a conversation with my therapist at the hospital today and I told her that being clean just for today gave me this feeling of Hope and clarity, feelings that I want to continue happening inside my dead brain. I don't know how many of you struggle with addiction or weed addiction at least, but I was clean before and I have a lot of friends that are clean for more extended time that I've ever reached. All I'm trying to say is that I truly thankful for the day I had, and for those of you that struggle with addiction, being clean is possible!

Much love to you all <3


EDIT:
wanted to mention that today is my 1 year anniversary of being "clean" from my most dangerous addiction, codependency. It's been a year since I cut contact with a person who made me what I am for the last 3 years, never thought I still be alive without her in my life, all the time with her everytime I would imagine about cbt was about her, ctb with her, or because of her. I'm pretty thankful that all of that is behind me

I feel this quote sums up how it is to be codependent of somebody.
I've been there till recently, it sucks. To not be able to think about your own good but to focus solely on another.

 

[attell2]

Incredibly proud of you for escaping that, please stay clean for yourself, you'll thank yourself for it

 

[Supersadmommy90]

I'm happy that you got through the day. That first day of going without is always the hardest to get through. I'm addicted to weed too, psychologically and physically. I get headaches and insomnia when I quit, I really do have to just embrace going through the withdrawal and the lows and boredom of quitting, frankly. It's a big adaption learning how to go without looking forward to those little pick me ups. If I can't smoke I might as well just have a nap sort of thing. I also get weepy when I'm quitting which really drives me nuts. At times during quitting my depression flares up and it sucks. That joint is such a quick fix for my depression, I'm really going to have to buckle down and learn how to endure all of the bad feelings without it soon. Because truth be told I'm getting sick of needing to smoke just to feel good. I've quit before and I know that once I get a few days in, besides a bit of insomnia, I do start to feel better overall. Marijuana detox is so gradual, it actually takes a few weeks before I feel totally normal again, and before the crave is mostly gone to where I can easily pass it up. It's just getting to that point that is difficult but once you're there, you're home free.

I haven't quit smoking weed yet but I'm working up to my quit date by early next week. I've been cutting down but it's like sitting in front of a chocolate cake.

 

[blivogade]

Both achievements are absolutely amazing and you should be so incredibly proud of yourself, addiction is a hard one.
Good luck on your journey

 

[dandan]

Im still clean mate, plus im vaping now instead of cigarettes, just today man

 

[pete_x]

If you've been smoking weed with "sprinkles" then yeah you might be addicted to the toppings. Otherwise you're addicted to the comfort and the ritual, not the weed.

 

[Nuclear Gandhi]

I have cannabis addiction as well, almost week clean. Relapsed so many times I stopped counting. While not addictive physically (although, my sleep regime and appetite now says otherwise , it definitely amplified my depression, making my dissociation easier and longer.
I am glad you are recovering and wish you the best of luck!

 

[Golden-Ivory]

Keep going soon you will be free of all the addictions and moving forwards in your life ^^