I'm not sure how much longer, I can hold on I'm so emotionally, and physically drained. I don't how much longer I can go on before I just break, and end it all. It's getting harder to find reason to keep me going, I don't know what to do anymore
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
I'm sick of holding on. I only want to let go.
AtomicNewt
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
- Jun 5, 2019
- 145
Completely feel for you
wish I could offer you some sage advice but my minds blank. I'm in exactly the same place, I mean I know I mental, but feel like I'm on the verge of completely breaking apart and become full on Mad. If that makes any sense?Have you planned how your gonna do it.
I need to plan it perfectly so when I feel I can't go on any longer I can just do it and end it
I need to plan it perfectly so when I feel I can't go on any longer I can just do it and end it
AtomicNewt
A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
- Jun 5, 2019
- 145
Been trying that tricky one of how to make it look like an accident, I've been a lousy enough mother and daughter without adding that to it. Obviously getting drunk and going for a midnight swim would be best, especially as I'm very well known for swimming outside in all weather's and for "liking a drink". However drowning is my biggest phobia, bah. Still won't rule out completely losing it mentally and overcoming that though... Working on a second plan, but will require meticulous planning and my mind is so shot to pieces at the moment :/ but agree with you it needs to be in place otherwise it could be really nasty. Have you worked yours out?
LogicalConclusion
Experienced
- Jun 2, 2019
- 239
Same, friend, same...Wish I could make things better for you, and for all of us, really...I agree with others about planning. Currently working out details and finishing up letters/e-mails when I'm not browsing/talking here or playing a game. Also, I've been cutting down on obligations/appts/therapy because I'd rather just do the bare minimum to appear okay while planning and just trying to enjoy my remaining time (have set a few goals for games to sort of keep me going). Unfortunately, I know that's not possible for everyone...keep us posted on how you're doing, maybe talking with people here can help you a bit. Wishing you all the best :)
Hanging.
Where
When
Why
How
Where
- bathroom (need to check if it can hold your weight) also mum just got settled in to this house. I hope she doesn't feel like she needs to sell it.
- Hotel (need to order a pull up bar and a rope. Need to call a taxi to hotel. Book hotel room. Book for like 2 days. Tell cleaners not to come in.)
When
- maybe next month, I don't know. I wanna die before I turn 20 in September. So July August?
Why
- well... you don't have to worry
How
- blood stops going to my brain, my brain dies. I die. I'm at peace.
memento_mori
Student
- Mar 28, 2019
- 190
I've been like this for around 7 months or so now, it's a miracle Im still alive. it's like I'm in my personal little hell. I live every week like it's my last
memento_mori
Student
- Mar 28, 2019
- 190
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,381
I feel the same … I'm barely holding it together.
Work is horrible and even when I'm not at work, Life isn't good either. Sometimes when I'm in my car driving home from work … I just scream out loud. (With the windows closed)
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,381
I'm hoping I will have the guts to do it before I have to go through another winter.
LogicalConclusion
Experienced
- Jun 2, 2019
- 239
I don't think I can go through another winter either...I'm hoping I will have the guts to do it before I have to go through another winter.
Hugs to you friend
not-2-b-the-answer
Archangel
- Mar 23, 2018
- 9,381
I don't think I can go through another winter either...
I feel your pain... I hate winter. I didn't think I would be here for the last one … but here I am.
