Venting I'm not in New Year spirit.

[kuroshimi]

Another year is coming to an end.

Lost that feeling of anticipation a long time ago. And I think, the next year will be even worse. The world has long since gone mad and crazy. Also I'm quite different and feeling like I don't fit in and in the wrong place.

I would be very grateful if death came, but at the same time I had some hope left and don't want to upset my friends and family. However, I feel that things will not get better for me. I have suffered enough, as it if were a curse. I shouldn't be born in the first place.

I almost stopped spending times on my hobbies, doing nothing all day long. I can't bring myself to study programming, I am really not into it. I recently got into audio/sound topic and I really like it. Also planning to learn German in near future (possibly to move out?), but I don't think there's any point in this. I don't know what I actually want. Probably, some peace.

I am torn apart inside by my terrible past and uncertain future.

 

[unluckysadness]

You're not alone with this feeling. I hate New Year too, and a lot of people hate this period of the year.
I wish you peace

 

[jakelonely]

I am torn apart inside by my terrible past and uncertain future.

Me too

 

[orvreader]

For me, the new year especially feels awkward: existing between this year and next year, but is functionally from neither; an 'in-between'-er that is weirdly different from the things that it's supposed to be between. I, really, hate new year and how its general vibe is. So, I somewhat relate to you about the new year thing; not to mention losing motivation on programming and liking music (in my case, guitar) lol, which I relate a little bit too much. In any case, good luck in your future endeavours, whatever that might be

 

[sylphstye]

Same. And to be ending it in the exact same place I was last year, watching and listening to the same stuff to keep me hanging on, but this time I've lost more than I ever have because i decided to try when the year started, is very painful. Should have just left my body in 2024.

 

[kuroshimi]

For me, the new year especially feels awkward: existing between this year and next year, but is functionally from neither; an 'in-between'-er that is weirdly different from the things that it's supposed to be between. I, really, hate new year and how its general vibe is. So, I somewhat relate to you about the new year thing; not to mention losing motivation on programming and liking music (in my case, guitar) lol, which I relate a little bit too much. In any case, good luck in your future endeavours, whatever that might be

I think I was never passionate about programming, I just enrolled in a such major because I spent a lot of time on computer.

I not actually hate new year, but I perceive it as some kind of disappointment? Don't know.

Thanks, good luck to you too.

 

[catsalvation]

I feel the same way. Now everyone says that oh, next year will be so good etc, but don't they say this before all NYE?
I decided that if at the end of the next year my life won't be better, I'll CTB...
Oh, and I don't think I'll "celebrate". I would like to go to bed like 9 pm, the only problem is that I can't really sleep, but maybe I'll take some sedative just to not torture myself with stupid thoughts.