I'm not convinced people really care about me (vent)

[wheretfami]

I don't have anything to offer to make an impact on the world, so what's the point. People say they love me, yet never ask me to tell them about myself. Anytime I try to talk about my experiences or thoughts, it turns into a discussion about someone else. I'm just background noise. They'd all forget about me in 3 months. MAYBE they'd be sad for a bit but only bc suicide is a sad thing.

It hurts, and also pisses me off somehow. oMg WhY Did ShE dO tHaT I wOuLd'Ve hElPeD iF ShE rEaChEd oUt. BITCH YOU COULD'VE JUST BEEN A REAL FRIEND. FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU.

People don't notice me now. Why would they care after the fact? I'm just background noise. I'm not important enough to get to know me. I'm not interesting enough. I just don't matter enough.

 

[ssspadbye]

People often do genuinely care, but their care factor varies/swings significantly based on what else is going on in their lives and also how your relationship with them evolves over time (i.e. they can care more over time, or less over time).

But re: forgetting, yes unfortunately people forget and move on generally from even people they would have died for themselves, once that person has passed away. Otherwise the world would be grieving too much to do anything productive.

Humans (life forms in general, really) are complicated.

 

[wheretfami]

People often do genuinely care, but their care factor varies/swings significantly based on what else is going on in their lives and also how your relationship with them evolves over time (i.e. they can care more over time, or less over time).

But re: forgetting, yes unfortunately people forget and move on generally from even people they would have died for themselves, once that person has passed away. Otherwise the world would be grieving too much to do anything productive.

Humans (life forms in general, really) are complicated.

Idk..... the people around me have so much to say about my personality or what's best for me, but won't ask or listen to my own input. Along with that, no one has ever been able to give me a genuine and informed compliment. Like, I've done multiple groups where we all say something we know about someone else in the group, and everyone else has something deep and meaningful to say about others, and then for me it's the lamest, most meaningless shit. "Oh, I HAVE to say something? Idk, she has nice shoes I guess".