Help I’m new could use advice about overcoming SIDE

[CTisME]

So I've been casually reading threads on this page for a few years now. Mostly when I'm in a spiral and just need some comfort from like minded people.
Today, I feel like I've mastered my technique and I'm closer than ever to CTB. I have a cloth belt with which I can easily perform a partial over my bathroom door. I've really got everything down except overcoming the SI. Earlier, I got extremely close to passing out but I caught myself and stood straight up. The joy of knowing I was super close made me actually laugh out loud.
I just can't get myself to push all the way through. I know it's up to everyone to overcome their own SI but any help would be appreciated.
Ugh. Should say SI in the subject not SIDE

 

[Centerism]

Hey @CTisME
Welcome to SS!!
I know you're probably familiar with the site since you've been trolling the pages for years. I just want you to know you're accepted here. We all love you, no matter what.

I too have a problem with my SI. I have tried to ctb numerous times. Most times my SI kicks in and I do the exact same fucking thing, I stand up. My methods are numerous. I went the route of partial or even night night. I managed you compress my carotid to the point of passing out a couple times. Of course I woke up because after I passed out I let go of the rope.

To overcome my SI I simply used mind altering drugs. Not hard drugs, but medication I am prescribed. I found that a combination of muscle relaxers and benzos made my SI almost non-existent.

I'm not condoning the use or abuse of any mind altering substance. I'm simply saying this is how it worked for me.

If you want to message me I'll talk to you about whatever you need to know.

Just know that we're all here for you. No matter what, you have family here.

 

[CTisME]

Hey @CTisME
Welcome to SS!!
I know you're probably familiar with the site since you've been trolling the pages for years. I just want you to know you're accepted here. We all love you, no matter what.

I too have a problem with my SI. I have tried to ctb numerous times. Most times my SI kicks in and I do the exact same fucking thing, I stand up. My methods are numerous. I went the route of partial or even night night. I managed you compress my carotid to the point of passing out a couple times. Of course I woke up because after I passed out I let go of the rope.

To overcome my SI I simply used mind altering drugs. Not hard drugs, but medication I am prescribed. I found that a combination of muscle relaxers and benzos made my SI almost non-existent.

I'm not condoning the use or abuse of any mind altering substance. I'm simply saying this is how it worked for me.

If you want to message me I'll talk to you about whatever you need to know.

Just know that we're all here for you. No matter what, you have family here.

Thank you so much for replying! It's an amazing relief to feel not alone. When you said you keep fucking standing up - I feel that frustration in my soulllll.

I hate drinking but love cannibis. I can't believe I've never thought of benzos to suppress SI... I've been hung up (no pun intended but damn I do enjoy a pun) on hanging and didn't consider combining some methods.

I need to pay a bill at my PCP before I can get my scripts renewed for my antidepressants but it would be simple enough to ask for something to help me sleep at night.

Just having a new idea relieves so much stress! Thank you!

 

[Centerism]

Thank you so much for replying! It's an amazing relief to feel not alone. When you said you keep fucking standing up - I feel that frustration in my soulllll.

I hate drinking but love cannibis. I can't believe I've never thought of benzos to suppress SI... I've been hung up (no pun intended but damn I do enjoy a pun) on hanging and didn't consider combining some methods.

I need to pay a bill at my PCP before I can get my scripts renewed for my antidepressants but it would be simple enough to ask for something to help me sleep at night.

Just having a new idea relieves so much stress! Thank you!

Frustration over not being able to suppress SI is all I feel deep inside. I mean honestly, we are so determined to stop this merry-go-round of a life. So sick of trying to find another way out. So tired of trying, constantly, trying to figure out how to avoid the pain that we endure day after day. That we have finally come to the point where we're tired enough to just want to end it. But now that we've succeeded in giving up we can't seem to give in...

Have you ever heard of seroquel? Is an antipsychotic which is widely used for sleep problems, or even in some cases, as a anti-anxiety medication. It's powerful in high doses as a recreational drug. Even in low doses it suppresses your SI. If you could get on something like that you would be half way there. Mix it with a strong benzo and you'd be set. Well at least in my experience...

Like I said, message me and we'll talk. I can help you financially if you need it. I really like to help people that are in my same mindset. You seem like a good person. I like that.

Keep your head held high smile at the stars, knowing in your heart you will soon be amongst them.