Venting I’m more willing to die after attempting

[joegoes100]

I've recently attempted suicide twice, both times were split decisions because I had an open opportunity, but I've been suicidal for months and planning for a while.
What's really bothering me is that currently I feel like I want to die more than when I've done both my attempts. Like when I was hanging, I didn't want to die as much as I do right now writing this. Is this normal?

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

i still seem to have problems with survival instinct, but i find myself thinking of dying more then before my attempts

 

[joegoes100]

i still seem to have problems with survival instinct, but i find myself thinking of dying more then before my attempts

Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

 

[soul2realm]

I failed my first attempt 4 months ago, but everyday my yearning to do it grows stronger than before. I guess to a certain extent it's the final hurdle.

 

[joegoes100]

I failed my first attempt 4 months ago, but everyday my yearning to do it grows stronger than before. I guess to a certain extent it's the final hurdle.

Never thought of it like that.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I want to die, I just don't want to get frickin strangled by a frickin rope. My neck is tender to the touch and it hurts to swallow, I'm not exactly enthusiastic to do FSH for real.

 

[joegoes100]

If you do it right it should be painless and quick. I have a broken collarbone and struggled to successfully tie it on both ends, the second time I hesitated tho as I was hanging but I don't know if it would've worked anyway. First time it just didn't work and only left a mark

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

If you do it right it should be painless and quick.

Oh, how I hope you're right

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I want to die, I just don't want to get frickin strangled by a frickin rope. My neck is tender to the touch and it hurts to swallow, I'm not exactly enthusiastic to do FSH for real.

The only way is to use the high anchor point and step all the way off. My last moments will be awful, but at least they'll be last. I'm pretty heavy and while I used to have a muscular neck, I'm pretty atrophied. The big squeeze should have me out in a few (very long) seconds.