Venting im lost

[cath55555]

psychosis symptoms are fully back. I'm lost in my mind, and it feels like every time I try to get out I end up falling in deeper.

I can't do this

I can't even think straight right now. idk what to do or who to turn to. fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

 

[DesperateDan]

psychosis symptoms are fully back. I'm lost in my mind, and it feels like every time I try to get out I end up falling in deeper.

I can't do this

I can't even think straight right now. idk what to do or who to turn to. fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

Are you taking any medications cath?

 

[cath55555]

I am taking medication- when I remember to take it. my memory is awful and I have a habit of forgetting, which makes things worse :/ I'm sorry to hear about the fears you have developed too, it must be very frightening for you. I feel similarly trapped- anxiety within myself is eating away my life. even if my fear is of a different thing to yours, I do understand what it's like to be so powerless to that feeling, unfortunately

 

[DesperateDan]

I am taking medication- when I remember to take it. my memory is awful and I have a habit of forgetting, which makes things worse :/ I'm sorry to hear about the fears you have developed too, it must be very frightening for you. I feel similarly trapped- anxiety within myself is eating away my life. even if my fear is of a different thing to yours, I do understand what it's like to be so powerless to that feeling,

I am taking medication- when I remember to take it. my memory is awful and I have a habit of forgetting, which makes things worse :/ I'm sorry to hear about the fears you have developed too, it must be very frightening for you. I feel similarly trapped- anxiety within myself is eating away my life. even if my fear is of a different thing to yours, I do understand what it's like to be so powerless to that feeling, unfortunately

If you are unafraid of taking your medications, then please do all that you can to try and remember to take them everyday. Maybe try setting a daily alarm to remind you, and please never just stop taking them altogether because I know from my own experience that can make you extremely unwell. Fear really is a terrible thing, and it is so disabling. Have you taken your medications for today yet?. Thank you, I am sorry that I posted my venting as a reply, I meant to post it as a new thread. I've only just joined and so I am trying to figure out the lay of things

 

[cath55555]

If you are unafraid of taking your medications, then please do all that you can to try and remember to take them everyday. Maybe try setting a daily alarm to remind you, and please never just stop taking them altogether because I know from my own experience that can make you extremely unwell. Fear really is a terrible thing, and it is so disabling. Have you taken your medications for today yet?. Thank you, I am sorry that I posted my venting as a reply, I meant to post it as a new thread. I've only just joined and so I am trying to figure out the lay of things

thank you- I do try, but sometimes I stop the alarm with the intent of taking them after I've finished a current task, then forget when that task is done. also I know it sounds stupid, but when I'm not medicated, I hate my medicated self even more, so it's really hard for me to start taking them again. I guess the main feeling is that I don't deserve to be happier, and I fear my medicated self is less anxious and therefore louder and annoying, so whenever I start forgetting to take my meds I get into the cycle of not wanting them, which then leads to me hitting a low, so I start them, then forget again and it just cycles. also, no worries about ranting here- I really don't mind, if you need to get things out there and said, I'd rather you did so :)

 

[DesperateDan]

thank you- I do try, but sometimes I stop the alarm with the intent of taking them after I've finished a current task, then forget when that task is done. also I know it sounds stupid, but when I'm not medicated, I hate my medicated self even more, so it's really hard for me to start taking them again. I guess the main feeling is that I don't deserve to be happier, and I fear my medicated self is less anxious and therefore louder and annoying, so whenever I start forgetting to take my meds I get into the cycle of not wanting them, which then leads to me hitting a low, so I start them, then forget again and it just cycles. also, no worries about ranting here- I really don't mind, if you need to get things out there and said, I'd rather you did so :)

Why do you feel that you do not deserve to be happier?, and feel less anxious?

 

[cath55555]

Why do you feel that you do not deserve to be happier?, and feel less anxious?

I'm a horrible person. I truly despise myself- and I deserve to.

 

[DesperateDan]

I'm a horrible person. I truly despise myself- and I deserve to.

We are all only human, and we all do and say things that we wish we had not done, life is hard, it can be desperately hard, we all made mistakes, that does not mean that you deserve to suffer