Help I’m lonely and lost x

[NobodyKnowsssss]

I've been through an awful experience and need some support or advice

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Well, if you can tell us what the experience was, maybe someone will have some advice. :)

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

Well, if you can tell us what the experience was, maybe someone will have some advice. :)

I'm not going into exact details so here;
I was raped and I tried everything to try get him off me but he was extremely more stronger and powerful than me

 

[faust]

I hate this society when things like that happen. I know, my "sorry" won't be enough here, but, please, don't blame yourself. You are not guilty there. And the law should be on your side in this case, so when you get a chance, don't miss it. Sending you my hug and letting you know that you are not alone

 

[Deleted member 14177]

I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you. Please try to remind yourself this was not your fault. You are SO worthy. You are NOT disgusting. He is a vile, disgusting person. All of what has happened to you does not change how wonderful of a person you truly are. You are so deserving of so much good. Please try to be kind with yourself moving forward. I know from experience much easier said than done. Sending you so many healing hugs.

 

[BPDbitch]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, though I know that can't take away the pain of an assault like that.

 

[BFishy]

So sorry to hear what you went through. Rape is never the victims fault!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm so sorry you went through that.

Something that helps me is that I don't take responsibility for the abuse someone did to me, their actions are their responsibility. He intimidated you, you did the best you could at the time.

I do have one piece of advice, to take a self-defense course. It doesn't solve everything, but it helps to feel more powerful again. The yelling in the classes helps one reconnect with their power.

I hope others here have some helpful advice and support for you.

 

[BFishy]

I have very close friends that have been victims also. I wish I had better answers to help. You are in no way at fault.

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

I have very close friends that have been victims also. I wish I had better answers to help. You are in no way at fault.

Thank you, I just want to be happy again and be me, but I'm this frightened, no confidence, and terrified version of me and I hate it

 

[BFishy]

I totally understand that. It is a very traumatic experience.
I

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

I totally understand that. It is a very traumatic experience.
I

I just don't know how to become me again

 

[BFishy]

It is totally natural. Healing cant be rushed. It is alot to deal with and work through
Do you have a close friend that you feel safe with? Maybe try venturing out a bit, and rebuild your confidence slowly.
The emotional healing unfortunately will take time.

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

It is totally natural. Healing cant be rushed. It is alot to deal with and work through

I went to the police and they take so long and it's like when I finally think I can get through this they call me and give me updates and I'm back at square one

 

[BFishy]

It may sound cliche, but counciling does help. Sometimes the first one that you see won't work out. Don't be afraid to try finding one that feels like a hood fit.

 

[Smokey]

I'm so very sorry you have had to go through that, I was raped when I was 16 so I fully understand how you feel, the most empowerment I got back from my situation was when he got put in prison & knowing he wasn't able to do that to anyone else. It was hard to do but worth it in the end.

Sending love and hugs your way x

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

It may sound cliche, but counciling does help. Sometimes the first one that you see won't work out. Don't be afraid to try finding one that feels like a hood fit.

I have been thinking about seeing a specialist about it but I'm very shy and can't speak about it without balling my eyes out sounds dramatic but I constantly feel like I'm gonna cry

 

[BFishy]

Yes, and unfortunately that will happen numerous times. It's very painful to go through but be sure to follow through and testify also. I know that you are hurting and may or may not want to go to court. But you also don't want him to get away with it. You may potentially save someone else.
Crying is a very healthy release. Believe me, they are used to it and expect it. We are humans and the hurt and pain needs to exit or we would self destruct.

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

I'm so very sorry you have had to go through that, I was raped when I was 16 so I fully understand how you feel, the most empowerment I got back from my situation was when he got put in prison & knowing he wasn't able to do that to anyone else. It was hard to do but worth it in the end.

Sending love and hugs your way x

Thank you but my only fear is that he gets away with it as it's going to the fiscal people to decide if it's going to court as the police said there was evidence ect but I can't help thinking that if he's gonna get away with it I've been through all this pain for nothing, you know what I mean ?

 

[BFishy]

I know exactly what you mean. My friend didn't go to court to testify so one of her attackers was found not guilty. That's why even though its painful, it is important to do.

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

I know exactly what you mean. My friend didn't go to court to testify so one of her attackers was found not guilty. That's why even though its painful, it is important to do.

If it dose go to court I have an opinion to be in the court facing him or I can be behind in a different room and speak through computer thing and I don't know how I feel about any of it I'll cry and then everyone will look at me and judge me

 

[BFishy]

It's best to get animals like that in prison

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

It's best to get animals like that in prison

What if the jury find him not guilty and then he'll be gunning for me and I'll be even more paranoid and scared than I am now

 

[BFishy]

If it dose go to court I have an opinion to be in the court facing him or I can be behind in a different room and speak through computer thing and I don't know how I feel about any of it I'll cry and then everyone will look at me and judge me

You won't be judged. It may be easier to be in the seperate room honestly. It's ok to cry. There isn't a person alive that doesn't cry sometime.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Oh, how horrible.

What a dirtbag he is. This is clearly something he planned and thought about in advance. Nothing you could have done would have made a difference. His plan was in motion even before you arrived.

You did nothing to deserve this. You are a victim here, and he is completely a pig.

Be good to yourself. You have been through something terrible and you deserve time to heal. Tomorrow, or when you feel up to it, please look to see if there are victim advocacy services in your area. Sometimes they can really help.

Sending you love and healing warmth

 

[BFishy]

There is physical evidence, I don't see how he could be found guilty. Maybe if the police investigate more, they will find that its happened to other women also. It has to stop somewhere. I am sure you could get a stay away order if you don't already have one

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

You won't be judged. It may be easier to be in the seperate room honestly. It's ok to cry. There isn't a person alive that doesn't cry sometime.

I am just really sensitive and not myself anymore and I wanna be me I really do but I can't do it also I hope I'm not burdening you with my issue

 

[BFishy]

Not a burden at all to me. I just hope that I can help in some small way.

 

[NobodyKnowsssss]

I appreciate all of your amazing advice and support it means so much to me x

 

[Smokey]

The police forward everything like evidence & statements etc to the Crown prosecution service who look at that information and decide if it goes to court or not, the police say you have got evidence so it will go to court for a judge to decide on sentencing.

Its hard but try to have faith that the evidence speaks for itself and justice will prevail.
If you need any help, support or information through any of it we are all here for you