I'm killing myself in a few days.

Zillai · Jul 18, 2023

I struggle with alot, looks, wealth, and i just cant get through this, adding the trauma i have to live with that haunts me daily. I already have the money for the SN and i have anti-nausa pills, well the best i could get without a presciption.

day · Jul 18, 2023

Would look into trying to get an antiemetic. You'll likely throw up rather quickly without that. Even with antiemetics people tend to throw up SN so just be cautious, failing a CTB sounds so horrible.

Best luck on your travels OP.

Zillai · Jul 18, 2023

Does anyone know a reliable way to get SN delivered in the USA, my parents never bothered to gift me a car and they wont let me leave on my own.

Zillai · Jul 19, 2023

astrals said:
Would look into trying to get an antiemetic. You'll likely throw up rather quickly without that. Even with antiemetics people tend to throw up SN so just be cautious, failing a CTB sounds so horrible.

Best luck on your travels OP.

Ill try, but i havent seen a source so far that can get me an antiemetic.

love_peep · Jul 19, 2023

I wish you good luck in your plans, but it is desirable to buy more painkillers so that it would not be so bad

Zillai · Jul 19, 2023

Due to some issues following the SN method, and me not having the proper things to execute it, ive decided to shorten the time from 3-4 days to 2, aswell as trying SWB instead.

FuneralCry · Jul 19, 2023

I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find true peace from all the suffering, best wishes.

Zillai · Jul 19, 2023

FuneralCry said:
I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find true peace from all the suffering, best wishes.

Thanks, i just hope everything goes right.

Zillai · Jul 20, 2023

This is really unnerving, ive lost my appetite and im trying to do my favorite things before its time, ive listened to so much music in a short amount of time i can recite lyrics off the top of my head, is this normal?

OnceThougtTwiceDone · Jul 20, 2023

are you dead yet
edit : I DID NOT REAIZE HOW BAD THAT SOUNDS

アホペンギン · Jul 20, 2023

Get antiemetics. i have seen a few pharmacies in my area that sell them. It might not be the same in your area but you should look for some. And prepare yourself with more SN than needed, you may throw it up and if you're left with no more then i honestly dont know what i'd do if i was in your shoes. I would buy maybe 3x the required amount just to be sure.Please take the advice on SN poisoning that i gave you if you are really desperate to leave this world. Buy antiemetics too and try to get a prescription for some other things too. Theres a few doctors online that can create a prescription for you and you can lie about your problems. After the prescription is done you can just go pick it up at the pharmacy. Anyways, Im sorry you have to go through the struggles that you have mentioned in your post. I can relate and it really sucks and i understand why you want to die.

Zillai · Jul 20, 2023

アホペンギン said:
Get antiemetics. i have seen a few pharmacies in my area that sell them. It might not be the same in your area but you should look for some. And prepare yourself with more SN than needed, you may throw it up and if you're left with no more then i honestly dont know what i'd do if i was in your shoes. I would buy maybe 3x the required amount just to be sure.Please take the advice on SN poisoning that i gave you if you are really desperate to leave this world. Buy antiemetics too and try to get a prescription for some other things too. Theres a few doctors online that can create a prescription for you and you can lie about your problems. After the prescription is done you can just go pick it up at the pharmacy. Anyways, Im sorry you have to go through the struggles that you have mentioned in your post. I can relate and it really sucks and i understand why you want to die.

I've decided against the SN method, i throw up easily and i'm not good at lying, ntm i cant find reliable methods to buy SN, ive decided to do the SWB method in hopes it works.

アホペンギン · Jul 20, 2023

Zillai said:
I've decided against the SN method, i throw up easily and i'm not good at lying, ntm i cant find reliable methods to buy SN, ive decided to do the SWB method in hopes it works.

Ok make sure to prepare yourself with weights and tie your arms and legs to avoid escaping the water because of SI.

Zillai · Jul 20, 2023

アホペンギン said:
Ok make sure to prepare yourself with weights and tie your arms and legs to avoid escaping the water because of SI.

I dont have weights since im underweight and cant lift them, while this will be a problem ive decided to put alot of stuff in a backpack, kneel in the water, make myself pass out then i drown, thats the ideal method i picked.

Zillai · Jul 20, 2023

OnceThougtTwiceDone said:
are you dead yet
edit : I DID NOT REAIZE HOW BAD THAT SOUNDS

Dont worry, it made me laugh a bit.

Professor K · Jul 20, 2023

Zillai said:
I dont have weights since im underweight and cant lift them, while this will be a problem ive decided to put alot of stuff in a backpack, kneel in the water, make myself pass out then i drown, thats the ideal method i picked.

how will you make yourself pass out beforehand? update us on that, i wish you nothing but tranquility until then. enjoy anything still worth enjoying i suppose.

Pidgeons_Sparrows · Jul 20, 2023

Zillai said:
I dont have weights since im underweight and cant lift them, while this will be a problem ive decided to put alot of stuff in a backpack, kneel in the water, make myself pass out then i drown, thats the ideal method i picked.

where exactly? nearest lake or what?
This method has potential to be very peaceful but honestly it gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. Drowning... one of the most horrifying ways to go if you somehow end up conscious.

omugraphic said:
how will you make yourself pass out beforehand? update us on that, i wish you nothing but tranquility until then. enjoy anything still worth enjoying i suppose.

hyperventilation is usually what is used for swb

Zillai · Jul 20, 2023

omugraphic said:
how will you make yourself pass out beforehand? update us on that, i wish you nothing but tranquility until then. enjoy anything still worth enjoying i suppose.

Im gonna hyperventilate for 15 mins, i practiced twice for 10 mins so i think i can do it

Pidgeons_Sparrows said:
where exactly? nearest lake or what?
This method has potential to be very peaceful but honestly it gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. Drowning... one of the most horrifying ways to go if you somehow end up conscious.

I still feel unerved since i hate being in water, and my idea is to do it in my bath, the reason im using stuff to weigh me down when i do pass out
I live in a landlocked state, the nearest lake is hours away so not an option

Zillai · Jul 21, 2023

Today's the day, getting all i need and hurrying to the bathroom.

Zillai · Jul 21, 2023

I got caught, really trying to avoid speaking on it with her, just could not get to pass out, ill try again tomorrow.

peelingbananas · Jul 22, 2023

Zillai said:
This is really unnerving, ive lost my appetite and im trying to do my favorite things before its time, ive listened to so much music in a short amount of time i can recite lyrics off the top of my head, is this normal?

what kind of music do u like?

peelingbananas · Jul 22, 2023

peelingbananas said:
what kind of music do u like?

are you still there?

Pidgeons_Sparrows · Jul 22, 2023

Zillai said:
I got caught, really trying to avoid speaking on it with her, just could not get to pass out, ill try again tomorrow.

oh fuck im sorry man

peelingbananas · Jul 22, 2023

omugraphic said:
how will you make yourself pass out beforehand? update us on that, i wish you nothing but tranquility until then. enjoy anything still worth enjoying i suppose.

is that flair mcr?

Professor K · Jul 22, 2023

peelingbananas said:
is that flair mcr?

ahah it sure is, nice reference and nice omori pfp

peelingbananas · Jul 22, 2023

omugraphic said:
ahah it sure is, nice reference and nice omori pfp

thanks lolzz

Zillai · Jul 22, 2023

peelingbananas said:
are you still there?

Yea sorry.

peelingbananas said:
what kind of music do u like?

Usually Urban or europop, sometimes rap and r&b.

peelingbananas · Jul 22, 2023

Zillai said:
Yea sorry.

Usually Urban or europop, sometimes rap and r&b.

oh that's neat! any subgenres of rap?

Zillai · Jul 22, 2023

peelingbananas said:
oh that's neat! any subgenres of rap?

Female rap mostly, i do listen to some male rappers tho, scarcely.

peelingbananas · Jul 22, 2023

Zillai said:
Female rap mostly, i do listen to some male rappers tho, scarcely.

neat neat. my favourite subgenre is probably cloud rap, but i enjoy some heavier styles too, like lil darkie. my main genre is probably punk rock. u seem cool lol

I'm killing myself in a few days.

Zillai

I exist(for now)

day

Global Mod

Zillai

I exist(for now)

Zillai

I exist(for now)

love_peep

Specialist

Zillai

I exist(for now)

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace

Zillai

I exist(for now)

Zillai

I exist(for now)

OnceThougtTwiceDone

Student

アホペンギン

…

Zillai

I exist(for now)

アホペンギン

…

Zillai

I exist(for now)

Zillai

I exist(for now)

Professor K

your eyes vacant and stained

Pidgeons_Sparrows

-flying rat

Zillai

I exist(for now)

Zillai

I exist(for now)

Zillai

I exist(for now)

peelingbananas

Student

peelingbananas

Student

Pidgeons_Sparrows

-flying rat

peelingbananas

Student

Professor K

your eyes vacant and stained

peelingbananas

Student

Zillai

I exist(for now)

peelingbananas

Student

Zillai

I exist(for now)

peelingbananas

Student

Similar threads