Venting I'm just stuck in this situation

[Walking Disaster]

I feel like everything i do just put me in the same place as before and i'm tired of this, i'm tired of everything going wrong because i suck in everything, i can't find a job, i was even able to be rejected in a job interview for mcdonald, then i found one for a year and my boss was talking behind me everytime he could, i don't like anything job related, the only thing i wanted to become was a therapist (lol) because i really like psychology, but yeah i suck too much to pass the test to enter, i decided i wanted to try university to try again to create a social life and because i wanted to at least try to have a good job if my private life is just going to suck forever so because psychology was too difficult to enter i tried sociology, was able to enter for few positions but yeah now i can't pass a single exam, i can't do nothing, i don't feel like i'm that stupid but it seems i have 0 energy and will to do things, and so i'm stuck in my house, with this climate of indifference from my parents like i know they care about me but they don't anything, me neither but i feel like there's 0 comunication, they don't even know which course of study i'm doing at uni, they don't know nothing i'm doing, they just see me spending 12+ hours on my pc, is it possible to have 0 questions? i can't even ctb cause i'm too scared to die...only methods i would use are SN or CO but in the first case i can't buy anything without them knowing, second one is too complicated, i don't even go out for a walk and for sure i wouldn't be able to drive and do all the stuff that is required. i don't think life in general is bad, i just think i'm not suited for life.
But in the end all of this talking is usless, cause tomorrow i will wake up, put up the fake smile like everyday and just be in the same situation again and again without anyone knowing.
Sorry for this topic ,it's usless, i just needed to vent but now i just feel stupid doing that. sorry for waisting your time
Anyway Goodnight to everyone

 

[Ghost2211]

Is it possible to tell the people around you that you don't feel cared for? Sometimes people can be oblivious to these things.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Hey Love. So sorry u feel that way n i can more than relate..the job market hasnt been to kind to me either, with an MBA, n soon doctorate.I get u...Venting is never a waste when the ppl ur venting to care. We care about u here. Like @RoseyBird asked, have u tried speaking to anyone? I hate that I don't open up to ppl around me.some of them genuinely do care but it could just b my private ways not wanting to open up..idk
Also my fear of not wanting to b judged
Also, maybe ur in the wrong field.try n find ur passion n focus on that. U don't have to go with the masses..(psychology,sociology,etc). Find something u love to do n not what ur parents,fam,etc want u to do...we're here for u either way

 

[Walking Disaster]

Hey Love. So sorry u feel that way n i can more than relate..the job market hasnt been to kind to me either, with an MBA, n soon doctorate.I get u...Venting is never a waste when the ppl ur venting to care. We care about u here. Like @RoseyBird asked, have u tried speaking to anyone? I hate that I don't open up to ppl around me.some of them genuinely do care but it could just b my private ways not wanting to open up..idk
Also my fear of not wanting to b judged
Also, maybe ur in the wrong field.try n find ur passion n focus on that. U don't have to go with the masses..(psychology,sociology,etc). Find something u love to do n not what ur parents,fam,etc want u to do...we're here for u either way

Thank you after like 6-7 years of accumulating everything inside i open up with my parents like 2-3 years ago, at first it was very nice..they started to cry and hugged me and told me they would have helped me, but yeah after just a week everything was forgotten, they started criticize me again for things i told them was hard to do for me and everything i said was like erased it seemed like i never opened up to them but i did, so i said to myself i would never open up again if that doesn't do anything, other than my parents i have noone in real life, we are pretty isolated , i dont have friends or someone else to talk...well i opened up also to my best online friend but he can't do much cause we live far from each other.
Yeah i hope i could find something different from the mass to do that i love but i don't know what, the only things im good at are videogame and that isn't a thing that can bring something concrete, so for now i'll just survive and hope something happens..

 

[Lostandfound7]

Oh I see..that hurts..well there's def a big thing in the game industry..have u thought about graphics or IT..u could learn n develop video games or other jobs in that field..something to consider?