I'm just like a dog

[loslassen]

something I've been going over while studying myself is the similarities I often look for and find between myself and dogs. I'm the youngest child of 2, throughout my life I have always, always craved acknowledgement and recognition, specially because my parents never really had enough time for me, they only paid me attention when I had good grades, I was spoiled with money and material things, and I know my parents sacrificed a lot for me and my sister so that causes a sense of guilt within me. but I still can't help but feel angry and miserable that they made me this way, that I can't ever feel happy unless I make people notice me, that one of the few things that bring me joy is doing things for others, and not understanding boundaries and putting myself in second place. To this day I crave that still, and I still do things I know I shouldn't while being so young like breaking my back working for money since I was 14. It's one of the reasons that has led me to want to ctb, I feel I'm pathetic and easy.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

So you're cute? :3 Jokes aside, sounds like you have gifted kid syndrome, where you have no sense of self and were trained to be an image of what your parents wanted you to be, and therefore are way too reliant on external stimulation. It's not pathetic, it's normal to struggle with unlearning things that you were taught your entire life :< I I hope you find your way out of it! (I had a really similar background to you and I was able to, so it's possible ^-^) If you learn to set boundaries you'll intuitively know how to respect boundaries I think, so it would be like hitting two birds with one stone.

 

[quietwater]

I understand this feeling.
I hope you can feel better in someway, I sincerely hope it.
And I don't think you're pathetic at all, I think you're a very kind person — from what I read here, at last.
Please take care, I send affection and support from here!★