I’m in limbo, why am I lazy?!

[tiredofthinking]

I feel so stuck, I'm only 24 and I've tried a lot of things in my life this far to get out of poverty and make life better. Real estate, crypto, ride sharing, drop shipping, multiple jobs, and even porn. I've failed at all and now in a place where I'm burnt out and in tons of debt.

I want to end it but I'm too afraid of the consequences at the same time I'm also too lazy to get up and try something again. I feel so stupid,worthless, and hollow. I try to think of all the possibilities but can only feel like failure is imminent. I've spent months in a depression bubble and my social skills are terrible. The idea of applying for another dead end job that might possibly be obsolete anyways in a year or two thanks to AI is depression fuel.

I also don't know how to separate my desire for success from my need for validation. I would love to write a fantasy novel and maybe start an animation studio one day but then I realize if people told me my stories were bad I'd feel defeated. I wish I could say I could do it purely for the love but the need for people to tell me I did a good job is holding me back

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

Try investing into yourself, take a step back to learn something new, I think that courses and internships are a great way to start off a career

You dont have to abandon your dreams to pursue wealth, but managing both a job and commiting to a hobby can be hard to balance, use your free time to slowly build up a portfolio, start small- character designs, lineups and story snippets, that could eventually be turned into a whole piece, any art related career is hard to get, but nonetheless- it has to start somewhere

 

[enough of this]

I feel so stuck, I'm only 24 and I've tried a lot of things in my life this far to get out of poverty and make life better. Real estate, crypto, ride sharing, drop shipping, multiple jobs, and even porn. I've failed at all and now in a place where I'm burnt out and in tons of debt.

I want to end it but I'm too afraid of the consequences at the same time I'm also too lazy to get up and try something again. I feel so stupid,worthless, and hollow. I try to think of all the possibilities but can only feel like failure is imminent. I've spent months in a depression bubble and my social skills are terrible. The idea of applying for another dead end job that might possibly be obsolete anyways in a year or two thanks to AI is depression fuel.

I also don't know how to separate my desire for success from my need for validation. I would love to write a fantasy novel and maybe start an animation studio one day but then I realize if people told me my stories were bad I'd feel defeated. I wish I could say I could do it purely for the love but the need for people to tell me I did a good job is holding me back

Hello tiredofthinking,
Your story sounds so much like mine. I empathize with you. We have a lot in common. That's how I can identify with it so well.

I've tried all the things you have, too, and I still feel so stuck. However, I've found that if I can just bring myself to the present, in whatever way(s), it seems to help.

I'm new here, and this is my first reply to anyone. I read the rules, and I hope I'm following them to the site's satisfaction.

I welcome your being in touch, if just to say hi and to let me know how things are going for you. For me, it's great to have someone just to talk to. I have a big heart and open ears. I want you to know I'm here for you. Okay?

I'm usually not so good at checking messages, but since I left one, I'll make a point to check in often. It's always good to make new friends.

I hope your night is going well.