Venting I'm hanging by a thread

[snowlance]

I hate my living situation and tired of being anxious everyday. I hate leaving my room so i spend most of the time here, because my grandma is judgemental af. I hate just living and constantly feeling like everyone's breathing down my neck. "Are you doing uber today? Are you gonna have rent? Aren't you gonna take a shower?" All the time. I need to get out of here soon or I'll lose my mind, but I cant work and im waiting to get on disability. I also fear if my car gets repossessed I'll have no way of making money at all and have to live with my parents again. I'll most definitely ctb around that time if it happens, I dont think I can take living with them again, they're way worse than my grandma. I just want to get in my car and drive far away and never come back. I'm debating if I should try to move in with my friend early and help pay rent doing uber. They have a big city near them I can work, but what if my mental health gets worse? What if I cant even do uber anymore? Then it becomes their problem and I could never do that to them. So I just have to wait, and just try to hang in there but it feels like I'm hanging by a thread. Anxiety is way worse than it used to be and I dont think it'll be getting any better.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really tiring being trapped in that situation, I understand that it certainly can be so dreadful having to endure an existence you hate. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[ddn.ctb]

I hate my living situation and tired of being anxious everyday. I hate leaving my room so i spend most of the time here, because my grandma is judgemental af. I hate just living and constantly feeling like everyone's breathing down my neck. "Are you doing uber today? Are you gonna have rent? Aren't you gonna take a shower?" All the time. I need to get out of here soon or I'll lose my mind, but I cant work and im waiting to get on disability. I also fear if my car gets repossessed I'll have no way of making money at all and have to live with my parents again. I'll most definitely ctb around that time if it happens, I dont think I can take living with them again, they're way worse than my grandma. I just want to get in my car and drive far away and never come back. I'm debating if I should try to move in with my friend early and help pay rent doing uber. They have a big city near them I can work, but what if my mental health gets worse? What if I cant even do uber anymore? Then it becomes their problem and I could never do that to them. So I just have to wait, and just try to hang in there but it feels like I'm hanging by a thread. Anxiety is way worse than it used to be and I dont think it'll be getting any better.

I really wish things get better for. I know it really does do anything but I will think positive thoughts for you.

 

[snowlance]

I really wish things get better for. I know it really does do anything but I will think positive thoughts for you.

Thank you, its the thought that counts ^^

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

I'm sorry, I read your other threads about your life and you seem so sweet, you don't deserve any of it.
Do you think your mental health could improve if moving in with your friend? You'd avoid the toxic environment and it's stressful situations, have nice people around you...maybe then you'll be able to keep your job and have better days.

Wishing you the best!!

 

[snowlance]

I'm sorry, I read your other threads about your life and you seem so sweet, you don't deserve any of it.
Do you think your mental health could improve if moving in with your friend? You'd avoid the toxic environment and it's stressful situations, have nice people around you...maybe then you'll be able to keep your job and have better days.

Wishing you the best!!

It would definitely improve if I moved in with my friend. I just want to get on disability first in case I can't do uber or lyft anymore. I feel like I'll be able to do uber and lyft way better living with her too and I shouldn't worry but just in case, I don't wanna screw her over if I can't work anymore. Idk what to do aaaaaaaa
Thank you for the kind words
Thank you for the kind words

 

[thebookofdisquiet.]

It would definitely improve if I moved in with my friend. I just want to get on disability first in case I can't do uber or lyft anymore. I feel like I'll be able to do uber and lyft way better living with her too and I shouldn't worry but just in case, I don't wanna screw her over if I can't work anymore. Idk what to do aaaaaaaa
Thank you for the kind words
Thank you for the kind words

I'd say pay attention to your feelings, if you think you can wait a bit more for the disability then good luck, but if things get worse, then move out, you'll be able to sort things out when your mind is in a better place! Don't let it get to the point where you won't be able to work anymore and will lose hope because of the emotional exhaustion.