Help I'm going to hang myself I swear

[PrettyKitty]

I was used by a boy today again, I just want true love true love that's what I want I drank and got alittle bit drunk and threw up alot and now i acidenntalyl cut open my finger abit. I can't stop laughing/crying and my friend I was on call with was like your scaring me now I feel like I'm the only one losing my mind. theres a hook in front of me made of pure metal/wood attached to the window perfect for hanging. I want to do it I'm scared because I know this could just be a bpd episode

 

[EmmaD]

I was used by a boy today again, I just want true love true love that's what I want I drank and got alittle bit drunk and threw up alot and now i acidenntalyl cut open my finger abit. I can't stop laughing/crying and my friend I was on call with was like your scaring me now I feel like I'm the only one losing my mind. theres a hook in front of me made of pure metal/wood attached to the window perfect for hanging. I want to do it I'm scared because I know this could just be a bpd episode

If you think it could be a bpd episode then don't do anything spontaneous, it could go horribly wrong. What happened with the boy? Is it anything you want to talk about? Xx

 

[PrettyKitty]

If you think it could be a bpd episode then don't do anything spontaneous, it could go horribly wrong. What happened with the boy? Is it anything you want to talk about? Xx

He had sexually assaulted in the past and I thought it was my fault so I continued to talk to him and he treated me like a piece of meat with no feelings at all now I'm trying to cut him off again and idk how to feel

 

[StaticCryBabye]

Please don't do that if you really think it might be just another BPD episode. It could go really wrong if you do it unprepared, and you might just end up in the ER, making your situation worse than it should be.

 

[EmmaD]

He had sexually assaulted in the past and I thought it was my fault so I continued to talk to him and he treated me like a piece of meat with no feelings at all now I'm trying to cut him off again and idk how to feel

It does sound like this is linked to bpd, the whole thing about relationships which end up damaging you.. it's like self harm. I understand this totally. Of course the right thing would be to cut him off but I know it's far more complicated than that. Just don't blame yourself for the assault, the way you feel or anything.. you can't help any of it. So many people here will relate to what you're going through. Sending you a hug xx

 

[charlotte_]

I know it's hard to manage a bpd episode, but please don't take impulsive actions. You might fail and end up in the hospital or the psych ward instead. Also, I'm very sorry about your situation. Just know that you are valuable, you're not a piece of meat and the assault is completely not your fault. You deserve to be treated like a real human with real feelings. Anyway, I wish you the best

 

[toofargone6969]

Sorry to hear that. I agree with those above. Dont be impulsive about it. It's a big decision.