im getting better (I think)

[kelimackie]

I feel like I'm doing better. I don't want to kill myself anymore, but I also don't care about death.

I can feel happiness, and it's not all the time like I thought normal people feel. I don't obsesse about the clock anymore, wanting the days to end as soon as they start.

I feel free of worrying about life, I'm okay, happy even, but I still worry about death.

The only thing that bothers me is what happens when I die, and how old I'd be when that happens.

I smoke nicotine and eat instant noodles in the hope that I get some type of cancer in the future to prevent me from getting old. That I can't discuss with anyone except on this website.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Good for you!
I hope it continues and if it dips, you get to bounce back.

 

[Dliena]

Nice to hear! And wishing you all the well with whatever outcome is beneficial.