I can tell you a few things from my personal experience and the general perceptions I have had over my 37 years:
- In an extremely depressive period of my life I became obese. I had never been overweight and I suddenly found myself in a deplorable state. I don't think fat makes a person ugly. But before I gained all that weight I was very much courted, I did some modeling work, there were always interested men around me. During and after the depression and weight gain, ALL disappeared, I became practically invisible. Not that I was looking for validation, but today, I see what fat people go through, there really is a lot of fatphobia in the world and for those who are overweight, this subject is delicate! So please don't be unkind about her looks and weight!
- After I lost weight and regained what society expects of a "standard beauty" I saw people I had been in love with before turn to me. And that was very offensive, after all I am more than my body! More than my appearance. Only I know what I went through, only I know what I suffered! Today I talk openly about fatphobia, despite not being overweight anymore, but it's a daily struggle, fighting anxiety and depression and not falling into binge eating. And yes, I've had the extremes of eating disorders. And believe me, it's not easy!
- Please don't think I'm telling you this to make you feel bad. On the contrary, I would just like you to not really reduce it to its weight or appearance. It can cause triggers to fire inside it. It's very painful!
- That said, as for you feeling bad about not being attracted to her, unfortunately it happens! She could be an extremely attractive woman physically to you but you might not be attracted to her anyway. Each person has their preferences and they deal with the consequences of them. What I think is most important in all of this is that you look at yourself and assess whether nanostructures are missing out on excellent possibilities because of a pattern you have established that is suddenly limiting.
But at the same time understand: you are not obligated to do something you don't want or don't have interest in. It would be a violation of yourself. However, you have to have a minimum of emotional responsibility, especially in the way you handle the matter, with empathy and sincerity.
Hope you find what you're looking for!
With love!
Cami
I can tell you a few things from my personal experience and the general perceptions I have had over my 37 years:
- In an extremely depressive period of my life I became obese. I had never been overweight and I suddenly found myself in a deplorable state. I don't think fat makes a person ugly. But before I gained all that weight I was very much courted, I did some modeling work, there were always interested men around me. During and after the depression and weight gain, ALL disappeared, I became practically invisible. Not that I was looking for validation, but today, I see what fat people go through, there really is a lot of fatphobia in the world and for those who are overweight, this subject is delicate! So please don't be unkind about her looks and weight!
- After I lost weight and regained what society expects of a "standard beauty" I saw people I had been in love with before turn to me. And that was very offensive, after all I am more than my body! More than my appearance. Only I know what I went through, only I know what I suffered! Today I talk openly about fatphobia, despite not being overweight anymore, but it's a daily struggle, fighting anxiety and depression and not falling into binge eating. And yes, I've had the extremes of eating disorders. And believe me, it's not easy!
- Please don't think I'm telling you this to make you feel bad. On the contrary, I would just like you to not really reduce it to its weight or appearance. It can cause triggers to fire inside it. It's very painful!
- That said, as for you feeling bad about not being attracted to her, unfortunately it happens! She could be an extremely attractive woman physically to you but you might not be attracted to her anyway. Each person has their preferences and they deal with the consequences of them. What I think is most important in all of this is that you look at yourself and assess whether nanostructures are missing out on excellent possibilities because of a pattern you have established that is suddenly limiting.
But at the same time understand: you are not obligated to do something you don't want or don't have interest in. It would be a violation of yourself. However, you have to have a minimum of emotional responsibility, especially in the way you handle the matter, with empathy and sincerity.
Hope you find what you're looking for!
With love!
Cami
By the way, pardon my crappy English. It's not my native language and I haven't communicated in English for a long time!