I'm fairly confident I won't last much longer

[Zzzzz]

I am in my 30's . I have noticed that I am experiencing fairly serious back, foot, and knee problems. I cannot do what I use to be able to do quite easily. Even Walking is painful but doable( for now). I find myself not only feeling a bit useless physically speaking, but I am deeply concerned about my mobility in the coming months and years. I feel like an old man, mentally exhausted but now physically starting to. I'm also grieving the loss of my "better" health. The Cause is unknown. perhaps genetic. Perhaps lifestyle. Perhaps the year and a half I spent homeless was more destructive to my health than I realized at the time. I know that did some damage to my feet, walking without proper shoes. Considering I'm already depressed and suicidal and have been for several years, I feel this is all just cementing even further my desire to ctb. It does not help that I only feel really happy a very small percentage of the day. It does not help that Im a disabled with no income and will likely be homeless In the near future (I promised myself I would die rather than be homeless again) ctb is beginning to feel more like a necessity rather than a desire. I'm at a point where even if I wanted to live, my body and mind are really making it perhaps too difficult to continue. It feel like I'm on the way to the bus stop, I just don't know exactly when I'll get there. I am trying to make the most of each day and enjoy as much as I can, but I've had a difficult life and I can only take so much grief, pain and disappointment.

 

[Meliæ]

I really feel your pain, I have severe fibromyalgia, can barely walk some days, I am in pain day and night, I want to quit life in order to make this awful pain to go, unless, I wouln't be suicidal

 

[Chiisai]

I really feel your pain, I have severe fibromyalgia, can barely walk some days, I am in pain day and night, I want to quit life in order to make this awful pain to go, unless, I wouln't be suicidal

I feel you. Im in the same age too and aside from personal problems, Im having a cluster of pains all over me.

 

[Monique696]

I am in my 30's . I have noticed that I am experiencing fairly serious back, foot, and knee problems. I cannot do what I use to be able to do quite easily. Even Walking is painful but doable( for now). I find myself not only feeling a bit useless physically speaking, but I am deeply concerned about my mobility in the coming months and years. I feel like an old man, mentally exhausted but now physically starting to. I'm also grieving the loss of my "better" health. The Cause is unknown. perhaps genetic. Perhaps lifestyle. Perhaps the year and a half I spent homeless was more destructive to my health than I realized at the time. I know that did some damage to my feet, walking without proper shoes. Considering I'm already depressed and suicidal and have been for several years, I feel this is all just cementing even further my desire to ctb. It does not help that I only feel really happy a very small percentage of the day. It does not help that Im a disabled with no income and will likely be homeless In the near future (I promised myself I would die rather than be homeless again) ctb is beginning to feel more like a necessity rather than a desire. I'm at a point where even if I wanted to live, my body and mind are really making it perhaps too difficult to continue. It feel like I'm on the way to the bus stop, I just don't know exactly when I'll get there. I am trying to make the most of each day and enjoy as much as I can, but I've had a difficult life and I can only take so much grief, pain and disappointment.

Have you ever tried the carnivore diet?
I know it sounds crazy but it works wonders on pain and reduced inflammation. Takes a while to get into ketosis and keto flu can be a bitch but then you should be almost pain free.
I'm speaking out of experience.
I hope you will feel better soon.

 

[ClownMe]

I'm sorry that you've had a hard life and that you're struggling so much psychically. Im only 20 and some of my injuries are already catching up with me so I can't even imagine how bad it will be in my 30's and beyond.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. We are all human and there is only so much we can take anyway. Life is just so cruel and unfair. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.