Venting I'm either crazy or have the worlds worst superpower

[HopefulPessimist]

so I must be insane cause I'm 100% sure that I have not only died many times before but also have lived multiple lifetimes.

I have reached the conclusion that I must die - either I am correct and I must go further down the rabbit hole or I am so insane that I am beyond saving and should die anyways.

According to my memories; When I die I usually wake back up approximately one year in the past. If I CTB immediately and don't wait about 2 weeks I wake back up in that same spot but if I wait longer than that I go back another year.

So play a game with me - sure I'm 99.99% just completely fucking insane, but....
If you were in my shoes what would you do?
If you could go back in time one year at a time by CTBing what would your attack plan be?
etc. etc

 

[angelcircuit]

You should look into quantum immortality, or reality shifting/respawning (reddit) if that's more your speed. I'm not trying to say it's real (although I personally believe in it), but I recommend searching it and see if that fits the criteria of your situation. However, if you have a history of delusions or mental health problems in general I recommend ruling those out first. It's up to you how you see it.

Personally I would have absolutely no idea what to do If I could go back in time by one year, for it was an awful year. I would perhaps do a hasty CTB attempt until I hopefully wake up somewhere else.

 

[EndlessDream]

Sound like Re:Zero

 

[Source Energy]

You should look into quantum immortality, or reality shifting/respawning (reddit) if that's more your speed. I'm not trying to say it's real (although I personally believe in it), but I recommend searching it and see if that fits the criteria of your situation. However, if you have a history of delusions or mental health problems in general I recommend ruling those out first. It's up to you how you see it.

Personally I would have absolutely no idea what to do If I could go back in time by one year, for it was an awful year. I would perhaps do a hasty CTB attempt until I hopefully wake up somewhere else.

this. Reality shifting. Search this into YouTube, there are some binaural beats that help shift
I personally dunno if I believe in it, but I did have successes with the law of assumption, which is involved in this, and with other occult stuff, so there may be something to it

If we don't die ( something I always feared deep down ) - then we are royally screwed.
Idk if going back an year helps, or you are doomed to get to the same point where you got stuck. Omg...how we escape this hell?

 

[wr3ck3d]

While others post more useful resources to help you, have you thought about ctb-ing to the point you're a child again (or even a baby)? That would be like a complete reset on life

 

[HopefulPessimist]

While others post more useful resources to help you, have you thought about ctb-ing to the point you're a child again (or even a baby)? That would be like a complete reset on life

Yeah funny enough that's the current plan - thing is though I've already tried this plan once or twice and fucked up majorly

If successful I plan to put 110% into life as often as possible. I want to graduate high school early and get my degree early and invest, workout and take health seriously, and most importantly I would stop certain events from happening while still making sure that other's did. I can stop my fiance from dying of cancer if I can get them to catch it early and I can stop my first love from being raped, I can tell my best friend about his medical condition early so his life expectancy doesn't suddenly get cut to 40 due to not being able to treat his illness... I don't want my selfishness to be the only thing my life amounts to. Sure I'm gonna make smart investments (hello btc) and ultimately I'm going back to have a fresh start, but I can't fully abandon the ones I love (the irony of CTBing despite this isn't lost on me and I do feel some shame for it)

If we don't die ( something I always feared deep down ) - then we are royally screwed.
Idk if going back an year helps, or you are doomed to get to the same point where you got stuck. Omg...how we escape this hell?

while I'm 100% sure I don't die, I can't be sure others will also wake up after CTBing and I DEFINITELY can't be sure they will remember anything. I think they will wake, but the fact is - if EVERYONE reacted to death the way I do there would probably be a whole lot more cases of people remembering they had died. Maybe they do remember but their brain sort of just rejects their memories of death as "impossible" so it gets disregarded and flushed away

 

[Source Energy]

I always had a deep rooted conviction that I don't die. Other people might, but not me. I attempted two times, once at 13 and once at 35, and guess what happened? Right. I survived. Well it wasn't SN but yet...I think I was not 100% ready, and the vibe and intention play a great role.
I am as defeated as it gets now and I will like to ctb, planning my attempt with SN very soon, but I'm scared I will not die from it either.
I feel like I am the only one with this stuff, I don't even talk to ppl about it. I'm surprised to find another person like this on this forum.

 

[ThisIsLife]

I always had a deep rooted conviction that I don't die. Other people might, but not me. I attempted two times, once at 13 and once at 35, and guess what happened? Right. I survived. Well it wasn't SN but yet...I think I was not 100% ready, and the vibe and intention play a great role.
I am as defeated as it gets now and I will like to ctb, planning my attempt with SN very soon, but I'm scared I will not die from it either.
I feel like I am the only one with this stuff, I don't even talk to ppl about it. I'm surprised to find another person like this on this forum.

Could you tell more about your previous attempts ?

 

[HopefulPessimist]

yeah I would also be interested in hearing about it

I'd also answer questions for me if people have them

 

[Source Energy]

Could you tell more about your previous attempts ?

I don't remember much. At 13, I overdosed on Diazepam, I think. My mom used them to sleep and it was an almost full bottle. I took them around 11 at night. At 7 am they tried to wake me for an exam...and they found me. I was taken to the ER, and bye bye ctb.
At 35, I used I think Tylenol or something similar, but a whole lot, combined with alcohol. I started to shut down and my left side went numb to the tips of my fingers. Then coward me started saying :"I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine" and the numbing regressed, breathing became normal, and I was fine in 20 mins from the edge of death. I'll do the opposite this time, but idk...

 

[HopefulPessimist]

do you remember anything immediately after ctb?

 

[wr3ck3d]

Do you keep the form of your body or do you also become younger when you wake up?

 

[HopefulPessimist]

I become younger. Specifically I think what's happening is my consciousness is being forced into an alternate dimension that is further back in the timeline
Weirdly enough though I've noticed that sometimes things change slightly, like maybe a certain event will not happen or something more major like my body will change.

 

[ThisIsLife]

I don't remember much. At 13, I overdosed on Diazepam, I think. My mom used them to sleep and it was an almost full bottle. I took them around 11 at night. At 7 am they tried to wake me for an exam...and they found me. I was taken to the ER, and bye bye ctb.
At 35, I used I think Tylenol or something similar, but a whole lot, combined with alcohol. I started to shut down and my left side went numb to the tips of my fingers. Then coward me started saying :"I am fine. I am fine. I am fine. I am fine" and the numbing regressed, breathing became normal, and I was fine in 20 mins from the edge of death. I'll do the opposite this time, but idk...

The opposite ?

 

[MakeUsername=hard]

The opposite ?

Maybe he means saying "I am not fine"? Idk. Also, what do ppl mean by SN?

 

[SleepyRobloxGrl]

Maybe he means saying "I am not fine"? Idk. Also, what do ppl mean by SN?

Sodium nitrite

 

[wr3ck3d]

I become younger. Specifically I think what's happening is my consciousness is being forced into an alternate dimension that is further back in the timeline
Weirdly enough though I've noticed that sometimes things change slightly, like maybe a certain event will not happen or something more major like my body will change.

Then I wish you well in your adventure.

Doesn't this makes you kinda immortal?

 

[Source Energy]

The opposite ?

the opposite: "I am dying"

 

[Emptied_soul]

so I must be insane cause I'm 100% sure that I have not only died many times before but also have lived multiple lifetimes.

I have reached the conclusion that I must die - either I am correct and I must go further down the rabbit hole or I am so insane that I am beyond saving and should die anyways.

According to my memories; When I die I usually wake back up approximately one year in the past. If I CTB immediately and don't wait about 2 weeks I wake back up in that same spot but if I wait longer than that I go back another year.

So play a game with me - sure I'm 99.99% just completely fucking insane, but....
If you were in my shoes what would you do?
If you could go back in time one year at a time by CTBing what would your attack plan be?
etc. etc

The idea of going back in time one year everytime you ctb but keeping the memories from all those years actually sounds really sweet, tbh i've thought about this possibility many times, like could you imagine? I'm currently 24 and i'd need to ctb at least a couple of times to fix my life. Hopefully i'll discover if that theory is true pretty soon.