I'm curious

[m3i906]

I'd say I've made 2 friends here but a few more acquaintances:)

 

[EvisceratedJester]

0, which is good since I'm not here to make friends.

 

[m3i906]

0, which is good since I'm not here to make friends.

I understand that. I didn't intend to either until it just kind of happened?

 

[dontwakemeup]

I was a member prior. One day I seen a post saying they were active and planning on ctbing. I entered the thread and wished him a safe journey as everyone else did. He sent me a personal chat message and we talked. He was very sweet and from our conversation on here I really didn't think he was active. I work night shift so the chats slowed down and I became busy at work. I figured he prob fell asleep. The next day I took a nap and logged on. I seen someone posted they chatted with him and he was successful. I kept looking to see if he ever logged back ok, he never did. I felt so bad that I cried. I was happy he got what he wanted but I felt bad I couldn't be there for him because I was busy and I felt kinda betrayed because he seemed ok and he left me. I decided then, I'll refrain from those goodbye threads and try not to get too personal with anyone. I'll never forget him.

 

[human909]

Since i just started i have made 0 friends here and it is most likely going to stay this way because i am not good at making friends unfortunately.

 

[The_Hunter]

I was a member prior. One day I seen a post saying they were active and planning on ctbing. I entered the thread and wished him a safe journey as everyone else did. He sent me a personal chat message and we talked. He was very sweet and from our conversation on here I really didn't think he was active. I work night shift so the chats slowed down and I became busy at work. I figured he prob fell asleep. The next day I took a nap and logged on. I seen someone posted they chatted with him and he was successful. I kept looking to see if he ever logged back ok, he never did. I felt so bad that I cried. I was happy he got what he wanted but I felt bad I couldn't be there for him because I was busy and I felt kinda betrayed because he seemed ok and he left me. I decided then, I'll refrain from those goodbye threads and try not to get too personal with anyone. I'll never forget him.

Was not your fault. You don't have to guilt yourself, I promise. Sorry to hear you felt that trauma. Hope you are able to heal from it all the best <3

He didn't "leave" you, you didn't do anything wrong; he was just in pain. I hope your shock and regret from his fades and heals <3
Found some great people to talk to here. There are fine, intelligent, and very-well worded people here. You can find them in the chatrooms, too.

 

[dontwakemeup]

Was not your fault. You don't have to guilt yourself, I promise. Sorry to hear you felt that trauma. Hope you are able to heal from it all the best <3

He didn't "leave" you, you didn't do anything wrong; he was just in pain. I hope your shock and regret from his fades and heals <3
Found some great people to talk to here. There are fine, intelligent, and very-well worded people here. You can find them in the chatrooms, too.

Thank you.

 

[The_Hunter]

Thank you.

you're a very caring person for crying after that loss <3 it's a virtue to be able to express care for others to that degree. Myself I don't cry or have such expressions towards grief, but to be able to feel to that level... is cathartic in a sense, is an honest expression of love; in a way you're able to join closely into the human experience, by grieving like that. And I, too, join a little more into the human experience, when I grieve for others, as well.

You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid.
- Franz Kafka

Wishing you all the love and healing that life can bring. Please take care of yourself. :)

 

[dontwakemeup]

you're a very caring person for crying after that loss <3 it's a virtue to be able to express care for others to that degree. Myself I don't cry or have such expressions towards grief, but to be able to feel to that level... is cathartic in a sense, is an honest expression of love; in a way you're able to join closely into the human experience, by grieving like that. And I, too, join a little more into the human experience, when I grieve for others, as well.

Wishing you all the love and healing that life can bring. Please take care of yourself. :)

I just understand pain on so many levels
I understand physical pain because I suffer from it. I understand mental pain. And most importantly, I've had a few attempts and I know how it feels, it's not as easy as people think it is. I never want people to die alone. Everyone has a story and if I can be there to help you transition on then I'll be there. Thankfully, he was able to find another user during his last moments. Back then we didn't have the option of notifications so you would have to keep logging in. I found peace in his passing because that's what he ultimately wanted. I just didn't want him to leave me. Maybe him not being totally honest with my was prob best and we just had a normal and fun conversation, that's prob what he wanted. Life is crazy, we all think we have time but sometimes you don't get a tomorrow with everyone.

 

[m3i906]

I just understand pain on so many levels
I understand physical pain because I suffer from it. I understand mental pain. And most importantly, I've had a few attempts and I know how it feels, it's not as easy as people think it is. I never want people to die alone. Everyone has a story and if I can be there to help you transition on then I'll be there. Thankfully, he was able to find another user during his last moments. Back then we didn't have the option of notifications so you would have to keep logging in. I found peace in his passing because that's what he ultimately wanted. I just didn't want him to leave me. Maybe him not being totally honest with my was prob best and we just had a normal and fun conversation, that's prob what he wanted. Life is crazy, we all think we have time but sometimes you don't get a tomorrow with everyone.

I think the empathy you hold for others is so beautiful; you're able to understand and try support them. The fun conversation you had with him were also a good way to converse; he had enrichment and hopefully less heaviness with him in his last moments. You shared time together that wasn't tough nor harsh, just enjoyable.

I agree that you shouldn't blame yourself; you couldn't have really known what he'd do and when. But, I understand that it's hard feeling you could've done more You gave him happier moments in the time you chatted!

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I see everyone here as a kind of friend even though we are not called friends. In many ways you guys are more friends to me than my "real life friends".

 

[ijustwishtodie]

More than 3

 

[The_Hunter]

it's interesting how exactly 3 people selected "3+'--i like to imagine all 3 of those users who clicked '3+' are all friends of each other XD

 

[yellowjester]

None. And I would be wary of calling anyone here a friend. They will drop you the moment you become an obstacle or an inconvenience to them. Not saying this has happened to me before, or that it isn't possible to make real friends here, too, but this is usually how it goes with online friendships, and I wouldn't assume this place is any different just because this is a suicide forum and we all care so so much about each other's feelings, and would never ghost each other like those filthy normies etc etc. Not to mention people do actually kill themselves here, so there's that too. I wouldn't mind having a chat partner, though, given how repetitive the forum posts become after a while and how hard it is to get any substance across with almost every thread going dry after just one or two days.

 

[chandxoxo]

I've just joined here and would love to talk to people about ctb... before one day I commit mine

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not quite the same as real life friends but I've certainly felt more connection to more than 3 people here when we've PM'd back and forth for a while.

 

[Odwin]

Where is the none gang? Gimme your hugs

 

[SadRatQueen]

None just yet.

 

[m3i906]

None. And I would be wary of calling anyone here a friend. They will drop you the moment you become an obstacle or an inconvenience to them. Not saying this has happened to me before, or that it isn't possible to make real friends here, too, but this is usually how it goes with online friendships, and I wouldn't assume this place is any different just because this is a suicide forum and we all care so so much about each other's feelings, and would never ghost each other like those filthy normies etc etc. Not to mention people do actually kill themselves here, so there's that too. I wouldn't mind having a chat partner, though, given how repetitive the forum posts become after a while and how hard it is to get any substance across with almost every thread going dry after just one or two days.

I agree that online friendships are unstable in nature for the most part! I also understand the hesitance completely...I mean we are here on SaSu for one reason or another, right?

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Just one, but I'm not usually someone who makes friends online, so it was unexpected.