"I'm concerned about you" OK AND??

[immrw]

I'm so sick of people telling me this. They ask me how I'm doing, and I give an honest "not great." They ask about my passions or hobbies or future goals and I say between classes and my job, I just sleep. I don't go out with friends. I have no s/o. Yea, I'm concerned about me, too.

But what the fuck does "concern" do? Are you going to be my friend? Are you going to send me money so I can afford groceries or to pay off my loans? Your concern does nothing for me but bring me guilt about the place I'm in right now. It's gotten to the point where that word just pisses me off. It's meaningless and empty. Respectfully, fuck your concern.

 

[jodes2]

Maybe it's their way of saying they hope you're gonna do something about it? Probably because they don't know what they can do? They're letting you know that it's serious and you should pull out all the stops. It's one of those cryptic things human beings say that you have to decode. They probably didn't want to say "I hope you're getting some fucking help and putting all your effort into it" because that would be rude and insensitive. They were trying their best to be caring, polite and contribute in some way. Fair enough, they obviously failed

 

[VioletNight]

One of the most important things in life imo is understanding that not everyone thinks the same way as you. So them saying that could mean a multitude of different things, maybe they truly are willing to help if you ask for it. I know that it's not easy to do but it might be worth taking the chance that they care about you more than you know. If someone cares enough to talk to you about it chances are they very well might want to be your friend if you talk to them more.

 

[Illidan77]

err i think the person just want to tell you that you can talk to they.. i don't know for the most.. but asking 'how you're doing' kinda rare and kinda more "deep" instead of 'what you're doing'

 

[letmegetout]

I would take it as they care and want to help they just don't know how, but they want you to know you're not alone and people care about you and have noticed you're not ok

 

[FuneralCry]

I just don't think that it's worth talking to people like that, it just wouldn't ever achieve anything and would just be frustrating. Other people cannot see life from the same point of view as us after all, so they just cannot understand what we go through. But in general, it's best to be alone and keep our feelings to ourselves, as other people usually just invalidate what we go through and can create more suffering. And a lot of people pretend to care just to make themselves feel better.

 

[sevenkarmas]

My mom has a habit of calling me once or twice a week. When my wife and kids first left, it was almost every day. She uses that phrase, and to be honest, it kills me every time. She then wants to talk about the kids and how they are probably having a difficult time dealing with it. I've told her multiple times I don't want to discuss it. It literally guts me when I think about what my youngest is going through. She's legally an adult, but I've crept on her SM pages and she's dealing with depression and going through some major personality changes. I finally told her that I don't want to talk to her if she brings it up again. It usually happens on really bad days (mentally) and all I want to do is put on music or binge a dumb tv show to play noise in the background as a distraction.

 

[SamTam33]

Saying "I'm concerned about you" gives me the icks. It's so sterile and clinical. Generic.

People are "concerned" about inflation. You're "concerned" about crime in your city.

If someone says that to me, it's my cue to lie and get rid of them.
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If they can't personalize their "concern," I can guess - beyond a shadow of a doubt - what their replies to my problems will be.