I’m bored to death… literally

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

I genuinely don't know what to do with my life anymore. Every day is the same fucking thing. I cant stand it. There is no way to put in any type of verbal weighting hoe frustrating it is living the same thing over and over again. I cant do this anymore. I wanna go outside and exist in nature but there is nobody that would ever want to do that. My parents don't even want to be they don't like being outside. They always say "well then go in your backyard". SHUT THE FUCK UP! I would rather rip out my internal organs and force feed them to myself than hang out in some shitty excuse of a back yard filled with random shit tossed from the road or sheds that are barely standing. They are so boring. I wanna try and CTB just so I can feel something and do something with my life. I mean, i have pills and cleaning supplies so that would probably do the trick. Anyway, if I don't CTB, give me suggestions of shit I can do in a small ass town in the middle of nowhere.

 

[girlboything]

i had a specific depressive period when the main symptom other than SI was just extreme, soul crushing boredom. extreme anhedonia i guess. what got me out of it was getting dx with ADHD and starting stimulants and prozac. it obviously didn't work forever as i'm here now, years later, but the vyvanse just really helped me with the boredom for some reason. it made me puke like six times a day the first month but it was so worth it.

otherwise i get a lot of catharsis and stimulation from hardcore kink stuff if that interests you (its a whole bunch of different possible activities)

you said you want to be in nature. is there anywhere you can access to hike or like a park or something? maybe an arboretum?

also i didn't realize this for a while but i was making it worse by watching the same two seasons of a show over and over exclusively. i literally watched nothing else and the repetition just started getting to. e too much. so just something to be aware of. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's so torturous feeling trapped in this dreadful existence, I see existing as just being endless and unnecessary suffering. The two methods you listed don't really sound reliable, unfortunately suicide just isn't that straightforward in this hellish reality, we exist in a world where suicide is purposely made as difficult as possible for people after all.

 

[Lavender Dreams]

You'd be surprised how many people actually want to go outside and enjoy the nature, except maybe they haven't found someone to do it with yet. While that part sucks, it's worthwhile waiting it out until you're possibly able to get a driver's licence and see all the places you'd like, or move away entirely. Even if it's small ass town, if I was you I'd still check where the public transport could take me and do little trips by myself. See if apps like meetup and facebook groups have any local people with hobbies getting together. Otherwise online dnd, or gaming communities can also be quite fun, if that's something that'd interest you. Anything that breaks up the routine slightly.

 

[Mr2005]

Literally wouldn't be a bad way to go tbh

 

[Arachnid_Antichrist]

You'd be surprised how many people actually want to go outside and enjoy the nature, except maybe they haven't found someone to do it with yet. While that part sucks, it's worthwhile waiting it out until you're possibly able to get a driver's licence and see all the places you'd like, or move away entirely. Even if it's small ass town, if I was you I'd still check where the public transport could take me and do little trips by myself. See if apps like meetup and facebook groups have any local people with hobbies getting together. Otherwise online dnd, or gaming communities can also be quite fun, if that's something that'd interest you. Anything that breaks up the routine slightly.

The only part about this is that I'm still in high school and I can't move away yet. And I still live with my parents.