Throwmyselfaway
Not gone yet but soon
- Jan 14, 2020
- 798
So earlier this year I was on this site 24/7. Chatted with a few people. Read threads but things started getting better. However the last month or so all I can think about is ctb. I had tossed my SN. But I can get it again. I still have a gun and thought about it so many times. Just not snap choices like I need to plan. Right now the bad heavily out weighs the good. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel to make things better. We are practically homeless right now. We are so broke it's not funny. I try to bust my ass every day to make more money but it just goes out the door. To make matters worse when my ptsd is triggered i have been remembering more and more. And it's not good. My insurance policy has been in place long enough that my wife would get the benefits of it. I just... sigh... I don't know how long I can go on at this point. Sorry for the vent but when I was here before it really helped to talk to others and to vent in a place where everyone else understands.