Help I'm back - How to write a good letter

[bath salts]

Hey everyone, I took a break and tried to find more positivity and explore my options but no dice. Ordered rope a month ago, and my mother found it - she absolutely does not care/wants me to do it so that she can guilt my father back into their marriage. I feel sort of bad knowing what will happen when I am gone, but I am slowly realizing that nobody wants to help me irl at all. Anyways, I am wondering how to write a note? I'm decent at writing but when I try to write something so meaningful I pull blanks. Wrote a couple back in middle school/early highschool but they just don't seem like enough looking back at them now (repetitive nonsense about how nobody loves me and I feel like dying because my life sucks). I don't know what I want to say I guess.

 

[Laststop]

@bath salts Sounds like maybe you should worry more about doing what's right for yourself? This is your journey. If you're going to do this what will bring you peace in the time you have left?

 

[RoadLessTraveled]

I'm under the impression, personally, that notes aren't necessary. It's like, your life was the book, your death is the end, and anything after is the epilogue. Nothing wrong with having an epilogue, but your actions while alive (and your timing of your death) should say more than a note. Seeing your body hanging, lying still and lifeless wiIl already speak volumes. If you do leave a note, it should be short and sweet. Or even unrelated, like "Sorry I left the lights on".

Totally not to bash you if you feel a note is necessary, I understand lots of people have unfinished business they want to get off their chest. To me it's just like, what's the point?

 

[bath salts]

@bath salts Sounds like maybe you should worry more about doing what's right for yourself? This is your journey. If you're going to do this what will bring you peace in the time you have left?

To be honest, I don't know if I have anything that is achievable. The only thing I have ever wanted in my life is to feel truly loved. I don't know how to love nor what it really means to love and in turn be loved, so I don't think it will happen any time soon :( Thank you for the kind response :)

 

[ChristopherWalken]

It sounds like your mother is a mess. I could tell you that there are many many people out there that will love you. It's weird how it's never enough though if we're always wondering why one of our parents didnt love us. I can trace where I'm at right now directly back to the feeling that my father never really loved me no matter how hard I tried and I'm in my 40's. Still if you're young I think you should still give it a chance. It is only by the worst of luck that I've managed to end up here in suicide town again. If I had a time machine and changed just one tiny decision I'd be a happy healthy person right now. So in my opinion, if you can just make it to 18 and get away from toxic family, you may find the world has a nice cozy place waiting for you.

 

[Karma]

"The only thing I have ever wanted in my life is to feel truly loved."

Yeah, I can resonate with this a lot. My mom/step mom were also both insufferable cunts who didn't give a shit about me at all and only cared about themselves, due to this I have an extremely negative view on women which basically closes me off to any sort of amendments with them. This being said I don't think all hopes lost, even if you are at the bottom. And I know you don't feel right now like you have anyone you can connect with in a personal way, but you just gotta give it a chance be cause there is for sure someone like you out there who wants to be your friend, I can assure you this because I've met a few friends I connected with and i'm probably one of the "weirdest" people you'll ever meet.

 

[bath salts]

It sounds like your mother is a mess. I could tell you that there are many many people out there that will love you. It's weird how it's never enough though if we're always wondering why one of our parents didnt love us. I can trace where I'm at right now directly back to the feeling that my father never really loved me no matter how hard I tried and I'm in my 40's. Still if you're young I think you should still give it a chance. It is only by the worst of luck that I've managed to end up here in suicide town again. If I had a time machine and changed just one tiny decision I'd be a happy healthy person right now. So in my opinion, if you can just make it to 18 and get away from toxic family, you may find the world has a nice cozy place waiting for you.

Thank you for your sweet words! I appreciate the kindness very much I would love to get away from my family, but I love my siblings too much to abandon them in the sense of leaving them with my mother. Although my logic is flawed (thinking my death will result in action finally being taken to get them both better lives), I do believe that the note I write and the last words I speak to certain people will provoke change for the better in their lives. Nobody will listen to me when I am alive, so this is sort of my last resort. Having you say that there are people out there who would love me and care for me really makes my heart warm and I can't thank you enough for that :) I feel like time is of the essence since they are so young, and it feels impossible to save up enough money to achieve the things I want to achieve to give them that life.

"The only thing I have ever wanted in my life is to feel truly loved."

Yeah, I can resonate with this a lot. My mom/step mom were also both insufferable cunts who didn't give a shit about me at all and only cared about themselves, due to this I have an extremely negative view on women which basically closes me off to any sort of amendments with them. This being said I don't think all hopes lost, even if you are at the bottom. And I know you don't feel right now like you have anyone you can connect with in a personal way, but you just gotta give it a chance be cause there is for sure someone like you out there who wants to be your friend, I can assure you this because I've met a few friends I connected with and i'm probably one of the "weirdest" people you'll ever meet.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother and step-mom! That sounds really rough :( Thanks for the kindness and encouragement, I appreciate it a lot!!

 

[Raggas]

Hey... Don't focus on the note too much just say what you are experiencing right now.

I'd rather you not die but if you must...

 

[bath salts]

Hey... Don't focus on the note too much just say what you are experiencing right now.

I'd rather you not die but if you must...

Thank you for the advice! Knowing someone out there doesn't want me to ctb actually made me tear up a bit, it means so much to me :) Thank you and hope you have a great day!!