Venting I’m back after almost 3 years.

[cantwaittoleave]

I made an attempt in 2022. It obviously didn't work, and things got better so I didn't feel the need to come back. Last year was awful, and this year, as of last week, i can't stop thinking about ending it. i'm tired. im lonely. everyone else in my life is fine. and the person who saved me for 5 years is now ignoring me for such a silly reason, and my family doesn't understand enough to really care. i'm lonely, and im tired of being lonely. i keep crying, and all i want to do is just be happy. but i can't imagine my future anymore. i took a drive across the country and ive kinda come to peace with the idea of leaving. it really didn't take more than a day before i was like 'yeah, once my dog is gone, that's it.' and ive tried to tell someone i was feeling that way. all i got was 'we'll talk.' no. its always the same. i'm overwhelmed with life and it has nothing to offer me now. i want out. i'm tired of feeling nothing but this gnawing emptiness that hasn't been filled in over a year. it hurts me mentally so bad that it's actually affecting my body and appetite. that's enough of a sign for me; now i just have to figure out the how, and live with my dog until his time comes and subsequently mine.

 

[Odd socks]

I made an attempt in 2022. It obviously didn't work, and things got better so I didn't feel the need to come back. Last year was awful, and this year, as of last week, i can't stop thinking about ending it. i'm tired. im lonely. everyone else in my life is fine. and the person who saved me for 5 years is now ignoring me for such a silly reason, and my family doesn't understand enough to really care. i'm lonely, and im tired of being lonely. i keep crying, and all i want to do is just be happy. but i can't imagine my future anymore. i took a drive across the country and ive kinda come to peace with the idea of leaving. it really didn't take more than a day before i was like 'yeah, once my dog is gone, that's it.' and ive tried to tell someone i was feeling that way. all i got was 'we'll talk.' no. its always the same. i'm overwhelmed with life and it has nothing to offer me now. i want out. i'm tired of feeling nothing but this gnawing emptiness that hasn't been filled in over a year. it hurts me mentally so bad that it's actually affecting my body and appetite. that's enough of a sign for me; now i just have to figure out the how, and live with my dog until his time comes and subsequently mine.

Can't wait. I too am waiting for my very old dog to pass on. I have got more direct love from him than any body else.