Venting I'm at the end of my rope (pun intended)

[Moth]

Maybe I should stop focusing on suicide as a big event that I need to prepare for, write notes, say goodbye etc. and then deal with the dissapointment upon its failure. Im just going to casually slip it into my daily routine, and hope for the best. I'm going to go to bed with a tourniquet pulled tight round my neck each night, every week or so take an overdose. Up my caffeine intake to even more stupid levels than normal, stop eating . Surely at some point I'll succeed. I've just to quietly in the background regularly attempt. No more if it works, but when it works it's only a matter of time.

 

[Shewaitsforme]

So your going to starve your body of oxygen each night, possibly cause damage especially to your brain.

Take overdoses each week and potentially wreck your organs such as your kidneys and then end up ill with poor kidney function plus increase your tolerance levels.

Increase caffeine putting more stress on the heart and again increase tolerance levels

Stop eating, slow death and takes alot of willpower

Please dont, if you want to die then you can choose to properly, this just seems like you want to just punish yourself not necessarily die. Someone is bound to notice and make you get help eventually.

 

[Moth]

So your going to starve your body of oxygen each night, possibly cause damage especially to your brain.

Take overdoses each week and potentially wreck your organs such as your kidneys and then end up ill with poor kidney function plus increase your tolerance levels.

Increase caffeine putting more stress on the heart and again increase tolerance levels

Stop eating, slow death and takes alot of willpower

Please dont, if you want to die then you can choose to properly, this just seems like you want to just punish yourself not necessarily die. Someone is bound to notice and make you get help eventually.

You make good points, I think the aim I'm going for is fuck myself up even more than. I have already, surely something will kill me. People have accepted that self destruction is my default setting .even my care team are getting more complacent . So no one is going to try help me.