Venting i’m at a loss

[willitpass]

i don't know what to do anymore. i've done everything to get better and i've done everything to get worse. i have it all right now. i have a good job that i just got promoted at, i have a long term relationship, i have friends, i'm doing well in my schooling. yet i still relapsed. i just had therapy and i faked the whole thing because i can't bother to talk about it anymore. what's the point? i've done all of the therapy there is, that's why i left this site for so long because i was literally in a facility for 9 months and i was doing so well. i don't know what to do anymore. it all feels so futile. if i try something and i survive yet again, i'll be sent to another long term facility, my life is meaningless. i am in a cycle of mental illness and it's all going to continue until the day i die

 

[FuneralCry]

All life is meaningless. All we are doing is waiting around to die anyway. There is no point to it all. Being alive is so tiring. It is such a hopeless feeling when you feel lost. I wish you the best whatever happens.

 

[alwaysdopesick]

life is suffering, its just an unfortunate but beautiful side effect of the earth's proximity to the sun and unfortunately some of us are stupid fucking apes with fucked up brains. None of it really means anything some people find great meaning and have fun in life, but for the most part it's pointless suffering. I don't know what im waiting for, but I can't fucking wait to be dead.