I’m ashamed of myself 😍

[Feux]

Welp my cousin is here today. So I'm just here. In my room. Wishing that I didn't have to be seen by him. He won't know that I'm a literal loser until he actually sees me

… I was going to try to CTB before he came, something really stupid prevented it.

I feel like with all the attempts I made and how many years I've been wanting to CTB, it's like… At every inconvenience, no matter how small it is, I just think to myself that if I was dead already I wouldn't have gone through it. And then I ruminate on all the CTB thoughts.

I'm tired of being awake and eating and brushing my teeth and thinking.

I feel like I wasn't meant to live this long, nor made to.

Okay I don't don't why I said all that but the point is

That I just wished I had CTB'd so that I wouldn't be here, in this situation.

I'm just being whiny as hell.

 

[Shatteredhearts824]

I know exactly what it's like to feel like you should've CTB'd earlier

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

Yeah. Left behind by opportunities. Still here. Going through groundhog day but without much of the joy.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so tired of existing here, I also see myself as not being meant for existing and I get that it really can be so dreadful feeling trapped here when you just wish to be gone. But anyway I wish you the best.