Ex told me if I ctb he will need to get rid my depressed 8 year olds beloved bird. He won't listen to reason, and just yells at me how it's my fault if everyones life gets ruined for leaving. He also says he won't be able to finish the training for his high paying career and the kids will have a lesser life. He said my autistic 2 year old won't get his aba therapy anymore since he won't be able to afford childcare. He said he will support the household fully and not take this kids, but I have to just magically cope with being used, abandoned, replaced, and forced into the world he created for the sake of the kids and bird.
I need to eat a mj candy morning and early evening to not want to yell cry and ctb. I don't even get to tell him how I feel since he holds all the cards. All that gets me through the day is knowing that one day the kids will be old enough that they won't be as dependent, and he will lose his tools for manipulation and control.
I envy those who get to die. One day.... Every day that passes is one day closer to eternal sleep, and as a final fuck you to him for what he took from me and did to me my note to my adult children will include telling them what he did and why I needed to die despite loving them with every ounce of my being.
well, time to go mildly sedate myself to get through another evening.
I need to eat a mj candy morning and early evening to not want to yell cry and ctb. I don't even get to tell him how I feel since he holds all the cards. All that gets me through the day is knowing that one day the kids will be old enough that they won't be as dependent, and he will lose his tools for manipulation and control.
I envy those who get to die. One day.... Every day that passes is one day closer to eternal sleep, and as a final fuck you to him for what he took from me and did to me my note to my adult children will include telling them what he did and why I needed to die despite loving them with every ounce of my being.
well, time to go mildly sedate myself to get through another evening.
