Venting i'm a terrible person and i only deserve dying a slow and painful death

[emptymiku]

i don't deserve to walk on this planet. i don't deserve food. i don't deserve water. i don't deserve oxygen. i only deserve to die in the most painful way possible and go to hell when it's finished. there's nothing left for me here. i want to fucking die

 

[LaVieEnRose]

The obvious question: what makes you feel that way about yourself?

 

[Dark Moon]

What makes you say you're an terrible person?

 

[emptymiku]

What makes you say you're an terrible person?

i can't go one second without fucking up. i made my friends upset and never got a chance to fix it before they just cut me off. i still have bad dreams about it 10 days later.

i'm an ugly, sensitive blob of tissue and bone that deserves nothing but the worst.

 

[Sammie_com.sanrio]

I know how that feels I hope you can find a way to finally find peace in what you want. I honestly hate how it's so hard to ctb without failing

 

[nosoul]

i don't deserve to walk on this planet. i don't deserve food. i don't deserve water. i don't deserve oxygen. i only deserve to die in the most painful way possible and go to hell when it's finished. there's nothing left for me here. i want to fucking die

This is how I feel. I guess it was my mania, but I've said evil and rotten shit to near all my family and friends, and I destroyed myself with drugs chasing a psychotic dream. I will be known as a worse person if ctbing, esp if I leave my dogs behind. But my existence is tortured,this forum is the only thing these days that I can relate to

Everyone else just getting on with their lives

 

[heLLishLandscape]

hey, i'm not going to pry and ask what happened between you and your friends, but if you never had a chance to explain yourself or make it right, and they genuinely just cut you off after this one incident, then they aren't real friends. depending on the situation, of course, real friends can accept that you're a human and you make mistakes. i've been very upset at friends before, but i've never cut someone out like that. regardless, your emotions are valid and you're allowed to feel them. if you need someone to reach out to, i'm here (:

 

[SoftWorries]

Friends come and go.

 

[LostCauseLooknToCTB]

Hey this is similar to the Kwite and Orion ordeal not a good thing. I'm getting vibes from you that you have some mental instability's right now I think you're going through a… let's call it episode of self hate or loathing. The difference though between you and Orion, is you're not dumping it on one person and then turning around and fucking them over.
Bro, you'll get through this. I may be a lost cause, but you have hope call your friends and if they don't answer, seek them out, tell them about what you're going through, apologize, make amends. I believe you can, if you believe that life's not going to get better, then that's your decision. "Just consider catching the bus through the door to your friends not through the grill to your death." ; Me 2023

 

[aitouka]

If your friends just cut you off with one single incident, and they already knew you have issues with mental health, they are not your real friends. Don't regret losing them. And you might want to try making up to people after you lashed out to them, if you really couldn't prevent it. No one 'deserves' anything really, we're just all born in this wretched world and so it's ok, you deserve everything you have. You were forcibly born into this world, everything you have right now is compensation and it will never be enough, so you deserve all of those. Good luck.