rizzardd
typa shii I been on
- Nov 14, 2023
- 7
because I failed myself. at, perhaps, most of things. I have so much potential only for it to go down the drain because I can't make myself do anything at all. at first I thought I was just fucking lazy, but every laziness has a limit, mine, though, must have none. I procrastinate so much it's ruining my fucking life and i can't fucking do anything about it. I honestly even try, but here I fucking am lol. I also have OCD, which doesn't help at all, though I take Zoloft and it does make things better a bit.
my family is a wholeass another story which won't be told because it doesn't even matter. they are just shitty people, and even shittier parents is all. I'll just add that I cry real rarely, unless it's about a story, movie or sum like that, but yesterday night I was really at it. crying like a bitch alone my room. all thanks to my father.
to be honest, at this point I don't even know who is ruining my life more, them or me. I'm a graduate this year, turning 18 in a week. my worst fear is to not be able to provide for myself after I graduate. because I know for sure that I won't be living with my parents or for their money, it's embarrassing and dehumanizing for me, I'd rather die, no joke. so since somewhere around 13 I set up a rule, that I'll kill myself if I won't be independent by 18 or graduation. school ends in summer.
you must be wondering why am I even here with this lameass story but the truth is, I just doubt that I'll make it. I'm not that strong. I'm almost ready to give up. to just die. I'm the only person who I'm living for, which is baffling, because I can't even get myself to work for the better future of mine. truly pathetic.
my family is a wholeass another story which won't be told because it doesn't even matter. they are just shitty people, and even shittier parents is all. I'll just add that I cry real rarely, unless it's about a story, movie or sum like that, but yesterday night I was really at it. crying like a bitch alone my room. all thanks to my father.
to be honest, at this point I don't even know who is ruining my life more, them or me. I'm a graduate this year, turning 18 in a week. my worst fear is to not be able to provide for myself after I graduate. because I know for sure that I won't be living with my parents or for their money, it's embarrassing and dehumanizing for me, I'd rather die, no joke. so since somewhere around 13 I set up a rule, that I'll kill myself if I won't be independent by 18 or graduation. school ends in summer.
you must be wondering why am I even here with this lameass story but the truth is, I just doubt that I'll make it. I'm not that strong. I'm almost ready to give up. to just die. I'm the only person who I'm living for, which is baffling, because I can't even get myself to work for the better future of mine. truly pathetic.
