I'm 5.3 ft (160cm) tall, never had a girlfriend, have job for minimal wage.

[Damian2102]

Hello everyone, as I mentioned in title, I'm only 160cm tall and don't have a chance to be taller, which is sure. I've never heard from a girl that I'm handsome, good looking or something like this. Basically I have no experience with girls and relationships although I'm over 20 years old, which is shame. I read many forums and blogs and they state, that short people (or actually very short people) have a very minimal chance to find a girlfriend. I'm very sad, depressed any lonely, my family doesn't care about me, I don't have even friend that would support me. Often I just lie all day in bed and cry.

Additionally, I work for minimal wage, so it's almost impossible to live "full life" for such few money. I'm honest -I'm seriously considering suicide, which would be a good solution for me. I don't want to live alone anymore, for last 3 years I've been trying to "socialize", to get to know someone - no results came. Everytime when I come back to home from work - nobody awaits me, when I have a problem - nobody hugs and supports me. I'm left completely alone with all my problems. Definitely that's not a life I want to live. No chance to have sex, support, to establish a family in future - that's very depressing.

When I go for a walk, I see many happy people in relationships (or at least they only seem to be happy), and me - only one of a few people nearby alone. And then thoughts come to my mind, that I will never have a chance to try how it feels to be in relationship with person which i am important for, im loved.

Are there such a short people? How do you handle your problems? Are you considering suicide too?

 

[chocolatebar]

Hello Damian. I see that you mix many things that distress you in a single post. That suggests your mind is confused right now, and it's ok to feel that way. I will try to comment on your topics.

You say that you're of short stature and you feel bad about that. I'm not gonna tell you anything cliché, because only you know how people around you or in the internet treat you like. Our bodies are an imposition on us and the ones who question why they're like they are, and not like they wanted to be, are considered like mentally ill. The only thing I can say is that the good people (the ones enjoyable to be around) don't look and judge you by your carcass. You just have to find good people.

About never having a girlfriend, you're committing the mistake of assuming people look for partners only by their looks (some people will actually do that, but not all). If you want to be loved, love and show people you care for them and want to be with them in every moment, be it good or bad.

About the money, this is complex, because there are many people in dire conditions who will say that they enjoy life and live with a smile, while some millionaires will commit suicide. Money helps having a better life, but it's far from being a determinant factor.

I don't know if my words make sense, but I hope they help you.
Wish you well.

 

[Damian2102]

Hello Damian. I see that you mix many things that distress you in a single post. That suggests your mind is confused right now, and it's ok to feel that way. I will try to comment on your topics.

You say that you're of short stature and you feel bad about that. I'm not gonna tell you anything cliché, because only you know how people around you or in the internet treat you like. Our bodies are an imposition on us and the ones who question why they're like they are, and not like they wanted to be, are considered like mentally ill. The only thing I can say is that the good people (the ones enjoyable to be around) don't look and judge you by your carcass. You just have to find good people.

About never having a girlfriend, you're committing the mistake of assuming people look for partners only by their looks (some people will actually do that, but not all). If you want to be loved, love and show people you care for them and want to be with them in every moment, be it good or bad.

About the money, this is complex, because there are many people in dire conditions who will say that they enjoy life and live with a smile, while some millionaires will commit suicide. Money helps having a better life, but it's far from being a determinant factor.

I don't know if my words make sense, but I hope they help you.
Wish you well.

Thank you for reply. When it comes to looking for partner by his look, I just read many blogs and posts on forums and came to conclusion that man height is the most important factor for women, like first impression. It's very rare situation when woman is equal height or taller than her partner. But maybe it differs from country to country? I don't know.

 

[NeverGoBack94]

I'm not short but I am other issues which keep me from having girlfriend and I couldn't care less.

 

[death137]

I feel you. I'm ugly and short (162cm or 5'4ft). I'm 24 years old but never have been to a date let alone have a girlfriend. I'm going to die alone whether I like it or not.

I handled my problem by isolating myself at home. I've quit university many times and distanced myself from friends and ppl in general. But those things have created their own pain. Usually I don't handle my problem but just face it. Most days are nothing but pain and misery.

Yes I'm considering suicide because of this. I've made some attempts in the past 5-6 years. Hopefully soon I will successfully leave this hell.

 

[overcomingfear]

You're not that old, you're not 40, everything is not lost. On my last job i had a guy that's probably shorter than u, he showed me pictures how he was with a tall girl (about 2 meters). I thought oh he's short, life sucks for him, but he's a cheery fun guy, he doesn't care about stature. I never had a loving gf too but im 180cm, It's not a problem of height, but of a girl that'd like u. Don't think all people have perfect relationships and they're happy so often, relationships don't last. Being alone is much better than a toxic relationship that drains u, believe me

 

[Midgardsorm]

I'm so sorry, friend. I'm 5'7, so I understand the height problem.

First things first. A friend of mine were still growing up after 20. He ended up to be taller than me. Some people grow a bit on late years, but it's rare and it stops once they reach 22 or 23.

You're still young, so your minimum wage job doesn't matter. You're learning and a few years from now, you have experience for a better job.

Even so, it's not on look or money, sure that is very important, but I have a friend who is shorter than me and is married to a stunningly beautiful woman. It's about your personality and attitude.

Try to put your passion on something, for instance, playing music. That is good and a lot of girls like it.

 

[fuzzybunny]

In my experience as a woman. Yes, I used to think I won't date a short guy. But I met one guy, his height is the same height as you and me(5'3.) At first I thought he is too short but when I get to know him more. I can picture that I could date this guy.(I am not going to because I want to ctb).

Not only the way he cares about how I feel, but when he took his shirt off, I was impressed with the muscle. (not too crazy but it looks good). So if you know how to treat women and take care of yourself. I think you still have a chance to try.

 

[GnarlyWalnut32]

I'm 19 but I've never had a girlfriend because im ugly. It is legit suffering I hate this so much.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

I'm 27, 180cm height and never had any girlfriend, but it's not the reason why I want to CTB.
I agree with @overcomingfear that being alone is much more tolerable than being in a toxic relationship. I don't even talk often with my family members anyway, there'd be no chance that I'd want to talk to a stranger, girl or not.

 

[Lmd]

Where do you guys live? I know looks are important but in my enviroment people haven't problems in dating because of it. The shortest guy I know (162~164cm I think) has been in a relationship for 3 years and before that I doubt he had problems with girls. I'm also tall for being a girl (180cm) and I've been with shorter people than me. The shortest I think it was a guy from 167cm and nobody seemed to care. I guess that in countries where the average is 185cm+ it's more remarkable.

Same goes for ugliness. I think that here even the most superficial people are willing to accept these things. The only place where I see people cares about looks goes for fat ones but I highly doubt that looks are the only reason for not having a partner. Beauty is something really subjetive, even with established canons.

People are mean and comments are always there but when I go to the street and look at people they aren't handsome models precisely and relationships aren't made only from beauty.

 

[PartlyHuman]

My bf is same height as me (a bit lower on my good days) and I... absolutely don't care. It's actually convenient in some cases. Yeah, it's not uncommon to prefer tall guys (I do too, for example) but you don't love looks, you love a person. It might be a bit more difficult to catch attention (depending on your country and dating culture there) but as a girl: if it's a long-term relationships your looks matter way less than personality. In my case keys were similar interests, kindness and sense of humour.

 

[Damian2102]

Where do you guys live? I know looks are important but in my enviroment people haven't problems in dating because of it. The shortest guy I know (162~164cm I think) has been in a relationship for 3 years and before that I doubt he had problems with girls. I'm also tall for being a girl (180cm) and I've been with shorter people than me. The shortest I think it was a guy from 167cm and nobody seemed to care. I guess that in countries where the average is 185cm+ it's more remarkable.

Same goes for ugliness. I think that here even the most superficial people are willing to accept these things. The only place where I see people cares about looks goes for fat ones but I highly doubt that looks are the only reason for not having a partner. Beauty is something really subjetive, even with established canons.

People are mean and comments are always there but when I go to the street and look at people they aren't handsome models precisely and relationships aren't made only from beauty.

Let's reverse your question in first sentence. Where do you live? I'm curious.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

The biggest factor for having a girlfriend is being a part of social groups of various kinds (meeting and getting to know many different women in a natural setting). The second factor is not self-sabotaging by rejecting them or making yourself look bad. The third factor is displaying good non-genetic, situational standing (money, fashion, social status, etc). The fourth is displaying good genetics (health, intelligence, pro-sociality, physique, etc).

If you are not meeting many women then I don't see how anything could happen.

I'm ignoring online dating here since I assumed you've tried it without any luck.

 

[Damian2102]

The biggest factor for having a girlfriend is being a part of social groups of various kinds (meeting and getting to know many different women in a natural setting). The second factor is not self-sabotaging by rejecting them or making yourself look bad. The third factor is displaying good non-genetic, situational standing (money, fashion, social status, etc). The fourth is displaying good genetics (health, intelligence, pro-sociality, physique, etc).

If you are not meeting many women then I don't see how anything could happen.

I'm ignoring online dating here since I assumed you've tried it without any luck.

Honestly, I didn't try online dating (especially I mean Tinder), because I heard that on such places people only look for partner for sex (so called Friend With Benefits), which I'm not interested in.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Honestly, I didn't try online dating (especially I mean Tinder), because I heard that on such places people only look for partner for sex (so called Friend With Benefits), which I'm not interested in.

Well, you should try it. I didn't have any success with it, but I have no chance with the ladies at this point anyhow. Don't get your hopes up, though, or maybe do--could help. At least try not to self-sabotage if you give it a shot, I got banned myself.

 

[Damian2102]

Well, you should try it. I didn't have any success with it, but I have no chance with the ladies at this point anyhow. Don't get your hopes up, though, or maybe do--could help. At least try not to self-sabotage if you give it a shot, I got banned myself.

Okay then. I will take a photo of my face and create an account. Tell me please, when it comes to my height - should I mention it somewhere or just stay silent?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Okay then. I will take a photo of my face and create an account. Tell me please, when it comes to my height - should I mention it somewhere or just stay silent?

Don't mention ANY negative traits unless you have to. That is called self-sabotaging (factor 2, if you recall).

Okay then. I will take a photo of my face and create an account. Tell me please, when it comes to my height - should I mention it somewhere or just stay silent?

Oh, and one photo of your face is not enough. For the picture and description you must look up guides online and follow them word for word. Don't try to improvise.