mafuyu
electric angel
- Feb 9, 2023
- 133
My first thread here; apologies if I format this wrong. I'm also on mobile.
I just don't understand people. The main thing about me is I have no goals or aspirations, I never have. It seems like everyone else has something they strive towards. I don't know who I am.
I have BPD, which comes with its own host of issues, but prominently so— a lack of identity. Which is something I've searched for now for years, and have yet to come up with anything.
People call me nice, they think I'm friendly, and it does feel good to be that way- because nobody likes an asshole. You catch more flies with honey. Duh. I'm very lucky in which I have a couple close online friends, but they have personalities. They have things they look forward to, things they want to be some day. I have nothing.
I have hobbies. I'm not particularly good at any of them, though. Nobody would miss me if I CTB tomorrow. And even if they did, they'd get over it quickly. My therapist has tried to get me to make plans, but I just can't see that far into the future, and again— there is nothing I want to do. Nothing I strive for.
Today and tomorrow and every day after, I just exist out of guilt and laziness.
I just don't understand people. The main thing about me is I have no goals or aspirations, I never have. It seems like everyone else has something they strive towards. I don't know who I am.
I have BPD, which comes with its own host of issues, but prominently so— a lack of identity. Which is something I've searched for now for years, and have yet to come up with anything.
People call me nice, they think I'm friendly, and it does feel good to be that way- because nobody likes an asshole. You catch more flies with honey. Duh. I'm very lucky in which I have a couple close online friends, but they have personalities. They have things they look forward to, things they want to be some day. I have nothing.
I have hobbies. I'm not particularly good at any of them, though. Nobody would miss me if I CTB tomorrow. And even if they did, they'd get over it quickly. My therapist has tried to get me to make plans, but I just can't see that far into the future, and again— there is nothing I want to do. Nothing I strive for.
Today and tomorrow and every day after, I just exist out of guilt and laziness.