Ighg

[eternalbliss22]

Unfortunately, I'm able to eat again. I still have something wrong internally, so there's still hope. Got a job interview, but not hopeful. I've pissed of the wrong person(s), so they track me & harass me & poisons my workplace. My hole life has been nothing but torment. I have a heard time thinking of a happy memory from childhood. Youngest of 6, but about half of it I was basically an only child. Mother was an evil, hateful bitch. I'm my father's only biological child, but all siblings call him dad. He was treated as a saint by relatives & mother gets all the blame for abuse. He was no saint. Our rooms were next to each other, so nightly I had to hear him beating the shit out of her. Then there would be a couple minutes of silence then hear the squeaking. No one held him accountable. When I was young, I lost a shoe running through a field. He stomped & punched me. When he was done then he punished me by sending me to bed in the middle of the day. What was the beating then? Toilet stops up, he was slinging me around by the hair while punching & kick because (little kids throws stuff in toilet) then made me mop up water. When investigated, the only thing in the pipes was roots of the big ass tree next to the house. I didn't get it the worst though. A siblings had arm broken & went to the hospital after he was on top pinning the prone on the floor for ground & pound on chest. Mother was the one who broke the arm with a board. She'd throw knives at you. She's also the one who gave me my first black eye & bloodied nose. Had to lie at school about it. They both were evil people. Everyone blames my mom & make excuses for him. They say she did it to him. Most my life I did the same, until I was on the receiving end of his manipulation. He tainted my relationship with relatives, former friends & employment. Closest sibling has tormented me & almost kill me a couple times. He was 4 when I was born & he's hated me ever since. He was babied by my father until I came along & took his attention. He's stabbed me in the head with scissors, one of earliest memories. He's tried suffocating me because I wouldn't do his chores. At this time it was just him, the bitch & me. When she'd hit the bar, her babysitter was to do lists that had to be done before she returned or beating. It was much longer till she had family service put him in the boys home because he was getting more dangerous. Not to protect me, though all relatives knew he abused me. Nope, it wasn't until he was big enough to stand up to her that she did something. This was s.o.p., she beat the fuck out of you until you could fight back then you were gone. She was childhood with the Juvenile court judge. Had multiple visits to court over child abuse allegations, but I never saw Judge Baker or seen the inside of his office. Every time we go in, I'd sit on a bench in hallway while they visited & then go back home. I don't know why I'm posting all this. I've got reservations about the validity of this site. Kinda a nice still to get shit of my chest before dying.

 

[quietpill]

This sounds like an absolute hell to have gone through, your family sounds like a special kind of wicked for certain. I've also experienced the burden of having to hide abuse of have it ignored and unacknowledged by society on small and large scale, the toll of it on you must be immeasurable. But it's impressive you have survived this long after going through all of that, regardless of what state you might be in currently.