If your loved one was going to CTB, what would be most comforting to you?

[stilhavinightmares]

I am just trying to think of things I can do now to lessen the blow or at least instill some semblance of peace for my loved ones. I have a note. Any ideas if your loved one was to CTB? What would help you get through?

Obviously I can't say goodbye in the way I want and the way they deserve. :(

 

[stermc]

Knowing that the person made a really conscious decision would really help me. I think it's different from thinking that they were doing it because they were too desperate or sad.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Knowing that the person made a really conscious decision would really help me. I think it's different from thinking that they were doing it because they were too desperate or sad.

I feel the same way. Thank you so much.

 

[stermc]

I am sorry you are going through this. And I can really relate to the fact that you care so much about the people you are leaving behind.
If you want to talk, I am here

 

[SamTam33]

Our thought processes are so different from everyone else's, I don't know that the replies would be relevant.

Personally, I'd want to hang out and do something they've always wanted to do. Make a day of it. Eat at their favorite restaurant. Do their favorite activity. Get high. Watch their favorite movie.

If this person has made a decision, I can either waste my time trying to convince them otherwise. Or I can create one last, amazing memory.

Most people are going to choose the former... (And they have the nerve to consider us "crazy.")

 

[Forever Sleep]

I was going to say something similar to @SamTam33 . I think that- sadly- our ways of thinking and seeing the world are perhaps so different, that I'm not sure how much we would be able to explain our actions and thoughts to those more 'normal' people left behind. Still, I personally feel that trying to in a note or delayed email left behind is better than nothing.

A friend of mine has also been suicidal from a young age. Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if they ever went ahead and CTB. Also- how they might feel if I did. I know I would feel sad and miss them but I think I would also feel a sense of happy relief for them- that they are finally free of this place and I hope they will feel the same for me. I wonder if that's only possible if you have ever felt this low though.

I think people do empathise when someone's difficulties were plainly obvious, although most of the time, people seem more shocked and start blaming mental imbalance. Perhaps that's their way of coping with it.

 

[Himalayan]

Loved one?

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I am sorry you are going through this. And I can really relate to the fact that you care so much about the people you are leaving behind.
If you want to talk, I am here

This is so sweet, thank you so much.

I was going to say something similar to @SamTam33 . I think that- sadly- our ways of thinking and seeing the world are perhaps so different, that I'm not sure how much we would be able to explain our actions and thoughts to those more 'normal' people left behind. Still, I personally feel that trying to in a note or delayed email left behind is better than nothing.

A friend of mine has also been suicidal from a young age. Sometimes I wonder how I would feel if they ever went ahead and CTB. Also- how they might feel if I did. I know I would feel sad and miss them but I think I would also feel a sense of happy relief for them- that they are finally free of this place and I hope they will feel the same for me. I wonder if that's only possible if you have ever felt this low though.

I think people do empathise when someone's difficulties were plainly obvious, although most of the time, people seem more shocked and start blaming mental imbalance. Perhaps that's their way of coping with it.

Very true. I wish we could make them understand. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Just make sure it is well planned and executed considerably
Leave letters for those you care about if you are able

You're right, I think these two are the most important.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe that the best thing to include in a suicide note is some kind of explanation to act as a form of closure so that those who are still here are not left with as many unanswered questions, and maybe they might gain some understanding as to what the person went through in life.

But yes, it's tragic how people cannot be open about their plans to ctb and be able to tell others in advance and have a discussion about it without the fear of others interfering. Death is such a normal thing after all, it's simply inevitable for us all so if someone chooses to leave voluntarily to prevent all future suffering then there really is nothing wrong with that.

 

[mateodolores]

Our thought processes are so different from everyone else's, I don't know that the replies would be relevant.

Personally, I'd want to hang out and do something they've always wanted to do. Make a day of it. Eat at their favorite restaurant. Do their favorite activity. Get high. Watch their favorite movie.

If this person has made a decision, I can either waste my time trying to convince them otherwise. Or I can create one last, amazing memory.

Most people are going to choose the former... (And they have the nerve to consider us "crazy.")

This is also what'd I'd do. Though, I'd probably also join them in a double suicide afterwards.

 

[Drakkamora]

If my closest loved ones were to ctb, I would personally find comfort with knowing why, where, when, and how. Understanding the why would help me not blame myself, or at least not blame myself as patently as I would had I not known the why. The where and when is so I would know where to find the body and when would be so they have the time to accomplish what they set out to do. And the how so I won't be surprised or anything at the appearance of the body when it's time to collect it. These are actually the same standards and wishes my closest loved ones have for me in addition to the final 24hrs beforehand I give them that time, any fun thing they wish to do with me (or I them), before it's time to ctb. That gives us all the final chance to say goodbye or "can't wait to see ya in the next life" or "how much you wanna bet I'd be reincarnated as a slime". Basically the comfort of a last laugh. But that's just how me and my own see it.

 

[Source Energy]

I'm different than most people - so Idk if this helps - but imo honesty is the best policy. If you have a strong relationship with your loved one/s, that means you can tell them anything - yes, even this. My mother and best friend know, and support me. Support, as in accept, not encourage. It took long conversations and a lot of opening up, lots of resistance to overcome, but I've done it. They know, and it won't come as a shock, they understand exactly how I'm feeling, why this is a dead end for me, why life has nothing more to offer me based on my preferences and values.
If you can't tell them in person, a letter - would be a long, detailed one, pouring yourself out - is your next bet.

 

[prim]

to CTB myself probably ?

 

[Rob1984]

I think the biggest thing is not letting loved ones find the person who CTB. That is unnecessary in my opinion, and will make it soooo much worse. Other than that, maybe just a note. I suppose the more detailed the note, the better. That way the person could answer as many questions that loved ones may have. Also to avoid any blaming. Loved ones are always going to feel responsible for the CTB of someone, so trying to avoid any blaming may help.

It's a really tricky situation when somebody has people in their life that care about them.