If you were to CBT, do you think the people around you could accurately figure out the reason why without a note?

[Ariii]

A year ago, my family could have definitely realized that it was due to loneliness. Now that the source of my suicidal thoughts are from the fact that I have to live and work a near endless cycle for decades in my life just for a slight hope that I'll be able to live my last few years (where my body would be failing, people I love would be dead, etc) comfortably, I doubt it. I haven't voiced these concerns to anyone irl and the people around me think I'm too stupid to think about the future

 

[rozeske]

No, not accurately. I'm not even the suspected suicidal one of our family. They likely will know the last thing that pushed me over the edge and speculate other nonsense, but never the full picture. I don't plan on leaving a note. I don't see the point of listing all my reasons and explaining why I chose to end my life. I don't believe it matters anyways. My reasons are for me and nobody else. Besides, note or no note people can't help themselves from speculating and judging.

 

[pomcustard]

I doubt it. If anything, I'm pretty sure they think that I'm doing better now (I had a failed attempt years ago) but I feel just as I had all those years ago.

 

[Bleneviola]

Pretty much yeah.

 

[isekai]

One side of my family will blame the other, and the other will wonder what they did wrong. In the end the biggest problem is the family that wont see their faults. I know I'm a child that a mistake. You figure things out when you get older....

 

[esistzeit]

I have attempted before and I have "suicide" written all over my face.

For an outsider, the reasons would be pretty obvious. But my family is so f****** ignorant and blind that they are probably going to attribute it to something outrageously inaccurate like drug dealing or the like.

 

[Ligottian]

Depends on how well they knew or or about me.

 

[Anonslostsoul]

My sibling and friends could probably get some of the picture, the rest of my family would probably say I was being dramatic or something idk

 

[lawlietsph]

My parents and my sister would know. They are 100% aware of my mental state, but they can't and won't do anything about it because they are just as miserable as I am.
Our whole life is fucked up, but I think they don't really believe that I am able to actually hurt myself.
So it won't come as a total surprise I think.

 

[Forever Sleep]

That's a really interesting question. I suppose it's about how many people care to know us that well and how much of ourselves we reveal to them.

I think most people can tell there's something slightly off with me. Some friends know why I specifically was suicidal as a child. But, as for the whole picture now, not so much. A larger part of why I want out now is that I'm just sick to death of the daily grind of life and I don't know how to change it. Or rather- the alternatives- alternative jobs in particular I feel would be even worse! I know they're worse in fact- I've done some of them.

The depressing part is- I think most people see that as 'normal'- everyone hates their job, everyone feels utterly exhausted. You just get on with it... except I don't want to anymore and I'm nearing a time I'll hopefully feel no obligation to anymore.

 

[Steff1337]

Sort of. My parents would understand to some degree, especially my mum whom I live with. As for other people, I don't care much.

 

[bugs_for_brains]

I think they could maybe lost a few of my reasons at a surface level.

But even if there was a person who witnessed every moment in my entire life from an outside perspective and listened to everything I say, unless they were a complete clone of me or otherwise living inside of my brain at all times I still don't think even that person could accurately describe my reasons.

That's actually one of the biggest sources of loneliness to me, I think it's impossible for separate people to understand each other fully (not saying this is true for everyone but definitely seems to be the case for me and all of my relationships) without sharing a brain and all previous life experiences. Probably doesn't make sense, which is part of what I mean lol

 

[kyhoti]

Yes, they would have a solid idea without a note. My physical condition is quite noticable to those around me, so that's a thing. Everything else may be a bit iffy for folks who are only casually aware of me.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Nope, since I don't tend to open up that much in real life.

 

[LittleMoose]

Yes, I believe so. I'm not very open about my feelings, but it's no secret that I'm severely mentally ill. My friends and family know my history with trying medications and other treatments in the past. I currently do Spravato (ketamine) treatments, but they stopped working awhile ago.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

Probably not.

 

[UnluckyBastard]

They don't deserve a note. If they don't have the capacity to self reflect and admit what they did to me was wrong then they can go fuck themselves.

 

[sometimesoon]

A year ago, my family could have definitely realized that it was due to loneliness. Now that the source of my suicidal thoughts are from the fact that I have to live and work a near endless cycle for decades in my life just for a slight hope that I'll be able to live my last few years (where my body would be failing, people I love would be dead, etc) comfortably, I doubt it. I haven't voiced these concerns to anyone irl and the people around me think I'm too stupid to think about the future

I don't think anyone - except for other people who are considering to CTB really can understand. It feels lik you are from a different planet and they won't get it no matter how much your write about it

 

[SoulWhisperer]

If they look up my internet activity it'll be plain obvious unfortunately. So unless I purge stuff I can't see it last as a mystery for long. I wrote a ton of digital diary entries to vent where I talked about what's on my mind so 1+1, yeah. No clue if I'll purge or not.

 

[i dont feel real.]

No.

 

[drag201]

Even I don't know of an exact reason. Just so tired and scared of everything, I want to go.

My family and friends know I have a history of mental illness and attempts but I don't think anyone would pin it on just one specific motive that would have brought me to this point.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yup. In the absence of all inks and colors I would still have 'loser incel kissless virgin' written all over my corpse.

 

[exitingtothevoid]

No, I'm sure I hide it too well.

 

[Mojo's mama]

I would think so. I've attempted several times before, been committed briefly. I've been pretty open about things for the last 2 years (big losses of a friend CTB and putting down my 19 y/o baby [cat Mojo]. On top of a 23 years running eating disorder, BPD, social anxiety, PTSD, I've developed an addiction to alcohol and an illicit sustainable since my cat died. The more I tell people stuff... the more alone I feel. Other than saying they'll lock me up again (which doesn't work), it feels like no one truly listens or cares.
Sometimes it feels that unless I actually try to CTB, my words mean nothing.

 

[brokeandbroken]

A year ago, my family could have definitely realized that it was due to loneliness. Now that the source of my suicidal thoughts are from the fact that I have to live and work a near endless cycle for decades in my life just for a slight hope that I'll be able to live my last few years (where my body would be failing, people I love would be dead, etc) comfortably, I doubt it. I haven't voiced these concerns to anyone irl and the people around me think I'm too stupid to think about the future

No but yes but no. They'd know why but considering they have minimized things while im around to an extreme extent they'd do the same thing after I'd be gone. And make it about other things. So while the reason would be known and should be obvious they'd get it wrong overall.

 

[sugarb]

A year ago, my family could have definitely realized that it was due to loneliness. Now that the source of my suicidal thoughts are from the fact that I have to live and work a near endless cycle for decades in my life just for a slight hope that I'll be able to live my last few years (where my body would be failing, people I love would be dead, etc) comfortably, I doubt it. I haven't voiced these concerns to anyone irl and the people around me think I'm too stupid to think about the future

Probably not. I'm CTBing due to a mixture of boredom, anhedonia, philosophical reasons and general discontent, but all that is completely invisible so far as I know. My family would probably assume I was lonely and stressed and/or did it impulsively

Yup. In the absence of all inks and colors I would still have 'loser incel kissless virgin' written all over my corpse.

unfortunately real. Ah well, at least we autistic virgins are exalted in the afterlife

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

unfortunately real. Ah well, at least we autistic virgins are exalted in the afterlife

I hope so. Though I don't even have confirmed autism as far as I know.

 

[sugarb]

I hope so. Though I don't even have confirmed autism as far as I know.

> shadow the hedgehog pfp
> 25+ virgin
basically a clinical diagnosis

kidding. Though it wouldn't be too surprising lol

I hope so too ^^

 

[Uninfluential_Karma]

I don't think anyone would guess why accurately except maybe my mom, but they'd all see it coming miles away.

 

[heavyeyes]

Depends if they knew me well enough