Beyond_Repair
Disheartened Ghost
- Oct 27, 2023
- 452
As in, not have to work, do literally whatever you want, go wherever you want, and not have to worry about survival
I think I understand a bit what you mean. I am socially awkward and autistic-y enough that I think people can sense there's something off about me and tend to avoid me once they get to know me.I still am not a full capable real inherently dignified human being. Others sense I am scum. It's like walking around where you are on a real-life blocklist or something, and any interaction I have just ruins other people's previously wonderful harmonious peaceful state of being. My unworthiness has translated into psychosomatic pain as well so also have horrendous muscle tightness and pain.
In this case, a clear no I would not even think about CTB as long as I'm healthy and can enjoy life.As in, not have to work, do literally whatever you want, go wherever you want, and not have to worry about survival
I definitely understand that. i love my past-times - video games, reading, drawing, travelilng, hiking, etc but external expectations to be "successful" and fear of avoiding being a disappointment, plus not to mention the requirement for making money to be able to sustain these past-times. Also as much enjoyment you get from these, they can only sustain you for so long. Then everything starts feeling the same - nothing really new or interesting once you've done/seen enough.Anhedonia is a huge problem. With it, you kind of lose the will to live. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to hold on to, not even a friendship or a hobby that doesn't feel like shit. What's there to even live for? Living the same colorless, tasteless day over and over again, until you get sick of it and do something.
I don't know if slightly better living conditions/lack of stress could alleviate this pain. Perhaps it's just too late. But I can't know for sure unless I try it.
It's a pipe dream for me though.
This is new...what enjoyable things would you do to pass the time in such a hypothetical scenario? What is this "certain age" that you refer to?I would ctb but I'd do it far later in life to avoid reaching old age. If I didn't have any responsibilities and I was truly free, I would enjoy life and relax until I reach a certain age.
I don't actually know what I'd do. I just gave my reply to OP on a whim. In actuality, I think that I'll just try to do random stuff such as watching movies, watching anime, listening to music etc. Right now I have anhedonia so these things don't make me feel happy but I suspect that the reason why I have anhedonia is because of a side effect of always being stressed about dealing with responsibilities in life. If I don't have to deal with responsibilities, maybe my anhedonia will go away?This is new...what enjoyable things would you do to pass the time in such a hypothetical scenario? What is this "certain age" that you refer to?
It's possible. To word this in terms of my "battery power" analogy, we could maybe say that your anhedonia is because you're at too low a percentage right now due to all your responsibilities, and since even positive emotions/enjoyment require some amount of energy, you just don't have the wherewithal to experience them, which then drains you even further. Do you think "recharging your batteries" would just be a matter of your responsibilities being lightened/removed? Or do you think there are other ways you could achieve that same thing?If I don't have to deal with responsibilities, maybe my anhedonia will go away?