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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
10,863
Maybe this question is better suited to the recovery section... However- it's more that I'm curious really. For those of us who lean more towards suicide as the most likely or even, prefered option- why?

Is it because you simply don't have any life hopes now? I sort of feel more like this. Even my original dreams for life don't look so appealing now!

Or, is it because you do want things but they feel unobtainable? If so- why? What is it tripping you up or, holding you back? Are you sure these things are insurmountable?

I'm not making the thread in terms of some airy fairy platitude- all things are possible crap. More as a query about our own psychological processes and decision making I suppose.

As for my own- as they used to stand (when I still had hopes and dreams) anyhow- they would go something like this:

What would make my life better? Career progression, possibly socialising more, unrealistically, a partner (perhaps.)

What's holding me back? Social anxiety mainly. Especially relating to a crushing lack of confidence with my work when around others. Regarding a partner, I'm not really willing to make myself more attractive or risk rejection from guys.

What can I do to solve those issues and, am I willing to try? I've given career progression a fair shot in the past. I worked alongside others in the hopes my social anxiety would fade and my confidence would grow- it didn't! I've gone through the whole trying to attract someone. I'm happy to let both go now really because, the relief of not having to do those things is so much nicer than putting myself through them!

I suppose ultimately, it's because doing uncomfortable things for 'the greater good' can sometimes work out and, they're really the only path I see towards recovery. But, they're simply too horrible and the reward likely too insignificant for me to want to put myself through that now.

What are your thought processes? If possible solutions do spring to mind, what puts you off or prevents you acting on them?
 
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NonEssential

NonEssential

Hanging in there
Jan 15, 2025
212
Can't fix financial problems, because I can't find any work.
Can't fix loneliness problems, because my social anxiety doesn't allow me to find friends. I'm also a nothing person, without anything to offer so I can't be in a relationship.
Maybe these all could be fixed with hard work, but death just seems more clearer and simpler.
 
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DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Experienced
Feb 9, 2025
206
I see no future for myself.....I just want to end my suffering and struggle. I am tired...I wish I wouldnt exists.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
932
I would want suicide more for myself but for others I guess I would want to continue to live for a bit to provide what I uniquely can to this world and so would want some things to be able to cope better. I want to finish the games I want to develop and I know I will finish them eventually as I have enough skill to make it on my own, its just mental issues and negative emotions get in the way. I would want to have a close connection to someone and while I can get that, it often ends cus of me being an emotional burden and them leaving me makes me feel more worthless and scared of abandonment. I just don't want to risk getting left anymore.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Mage
Mar 8, 2024
562
My age and 0 will to do anything
 
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blacksand

blacksand

Experienced
May 2, 2023
272
I want to be young, 21-24 again. I want the life I had during those years and nothing will bring it back.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,054
they can't fix brain injuries most damaged brain cells cannot be repaired or regenerated, meaning a complete "fix" of a brain injury is generally not possible, i wanted to be a indie game developer but haven't been able to program ever since getting injury nearly 9 years ago
 
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Misanthrope0000

Misanthrope0000

Misanthrope
Sep 8, 2024
75
Money, I literally live in a third world shithole, I have a lot of hopes and dreams but impossible to reach.
 
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enduringwinter

enduringwinter

flower, water
Jun 20, 2024
325
I want to be a different person at birth. I feel like I can enjoy this world if I wasn't me. I need more privileges, a simpler life.
 
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davidtorez

davidtorez

Mage
Mar 8, 2024
562
I want to be young, 21-24 again. I want the life I had during those years and nothing will bring it back.
Same here! But I didn't mind my life until about age 30
 
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J

Johnzaga23

Student
Dec 10, 2024
152
what do i even want in life?
 
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Timelapse

Timelapse

Well, time can heal, but this won't.
Nov 3, 2023
78
Love

emotionally immature

my BPD is 10/10 and scares people away

im co-dependant in relationships

fear of abandonnement

lack of self confidence

self-awareness is through the roof
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,008
i will never want anything out of this evil life and prison world. I will never want any kind of existence / life / consciousness.

imo the pleasurable addictions are the worst . pleasurable addictions like youtube , social media, news , TV , any media, etc which are meaningless time wasters i can't control and don't have anything to do with me and solving my problems. those are the ones keeping me distracted wasting my time when i could have had my suicide plan ready to go by no , defeated si location scouted all problems obstacles kinks worked out.

nothing is worth even 1 minute of the worst constant pain. the pleasurable addictions keep me under threat of extreme torture and lead to the worst pain.

yes there is pain so bad 1 minute of it makes everything else meaningless. everything else dissapears, then you realize those pleasure addictions didn't matter when you are in the throes of the worst hell.

evolution programmed the brain to be a extreme torture chamber. the animals that could feel the worst pain passed on their genes more effectively because they worked hard to avoid injury to their bodies and avoid the hunger pain . the pain of injury , hunger , bad cold wind , had to be very bad to force the human or animal to do everything to avoid that pain otherwise the animal would die and not pass on their genes. the only goal of genes , DNA , life and evolution is to pass on the genes the DNA

Even the pleasurable addictions programmed by evolution like wanting to eat food are evil : "I want to live to eat delicious food makes life so worth it" : wrong because i'm eating stupid food like a pig doing what evolution wants me to do to pass on my genes is not worth even 1 minute of the worst pain possible . evolution programmed the pleasure of eating food so that you survive to pass on your genes. so evolution is tricking you for no reason because passing on genes is just an accident of chaos chemical reactions and could never have any purpose. especially since the universe is entropic and all systems will die even the universe itself .

evolution scammed us tricked us . there is no meaning to life there is no purpose . nothing is important or needed. evolution only programmed these plesasures and pain to get us to reproduce.

but to me even if there were no suffering i would never want any kind of life / existence / consciousness.
 
Last edited:
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S

Skylar6

Member
Feb 11, 2025
24
Maybe this question is better suited to the recovery section... However- it's more that I'm curious really. For those of us who lean more towards suicide as the most likely or even, prefered option- why?

Is it because you simply don't have any life hopes now? I sort of feel more like this. Even my original dreams for life don't look so appealing now!

Or, is it because you do want things but they feel unobtainable? If so- why? What is it tripping you up or, holding you back? Are you sure these things are insurmountable?

I'm not making the thread in terms of some airy fairy platitude- all things are possible crap. More as a query about our own psychological processes and decision making I suppose.

As for my own- as they used to stand (when I still had hopes and dreams) anyhow- they would go something like this:

What would make my life better? Career progression, possibly socialising more, unrealistically, a partner (perhaps.)

What's holding me back? Social anxiety mainly. Especially relating to a crushing lack of confidence with my work when around others. Regarding a partner, I'm not really willing to make myself more attractive or risk rejection from guys.

What can I do to solve those issues and, am I willing to try? I've given career progression a fair shot in the past. I worked alongside others in the hopes my social anxiety would fade and my confidence would grow- it didn't! I've gone through the whole trying to attract someone. I'm happy to let both go now really because, the relief of not having to do those things is so much nicer than putting myself through them!

I suppose ultimately, it's because doing uncomfortable things for 'the greater good' can sometimes work out and, they're really the only path I see towards recovery. But, they're simply too horrible and the reward likely too insignificant for me to want to put myself through that now.

What are your thought processes? If possible solutions do spring to mind, what puts you off or prevents you acting on them?
Like a lot of other people its all about money. There's no where to run off to and be left alone. In another age I could have walked out of Africa, foraged and hunted, survived, but this earning money business confuses the hell out of me. Yes I have had several business with mixed success, but now down on my financial luck with no one standing behind me. I shall voyage into the last great adventure. And if there is nothing, I will not know, but if there is something...well wouldn't that be interesting.
 
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FoxSauce

FoxSauce

Emotional unstable like and IKEA table
Aug 23, 2024
102
Fr I dunno what I want

I want so many things but their so hard to reach

I just wanna live peacefully If I decide to live and have a peaceful life.

But of i don't I decided thatll cbt between 2 years at most.

I rather go by my own hand
 
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